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Pour Me A Stiff One

Walking into the bar, Mike said to the bartender, “Pour me a stiff one Charlie, I just had another fight with the little woman.” “Oh yeah?” said Charlie. “And how did this one end?” “When it was over,” Mike replied, “she came to me on her hands and knees.” “Really? […]

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An Unexpected Phone Call

Have you ever received an unexpected phone call at Christmas? Keith and Janet decided to call an old friend who lived across the pond, to wish them seasons greetings at Christmas. A little unsure of what they were doing, since they rarely made international calls, they dialed his phone number […]

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Time For Lunch

It was time for lunch on the construction site and three workmen sat down on the roof of a building to eat their lunch. One man was Italian, the second was Mexican and the third was Polish. The Italian man opened his lunch box and said, “Spaghetti again! I have […]

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Pulled Over For Speeding

A young woman was pulled over for speeding. The New York State Trooper walked up to her car, and flipped open his ticket book. The woman rolled down her car window and said, “I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Troopers Ball”. The police […]

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Pregnant

Mary was still in her teens when she ended up having to face her father and tell him that she was pregnant. After she had given him the news, Mary’s mother asked her, “What did your father say when he learned you are pregnant?” Mary answered, “Should I leave out […]

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The Pianist

A pianist was hired to play the piano to provide background music for an upcoming movie. When the movie was completed, he asked when and where he could see the picture. The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a pornographic movie and it was due out in a month. […]

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Jewish Mother

A Jewish mother is walking down the street with her two young sons. A passer by asks her how old the two boys are. “The doctor is three”, the mother answers, “and the lawyer is two”.

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Stupid!

There are various levels of stupid aren’t there. There is stupid, and then there is STUPID! The “stupidest excuse in the world” bonehead award this year, goes to those people who gave Washington D.C. police the following excuses for their illegal parking: “I saw the No Parking signs, but I […]

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Marriage Counselor

A husband visited a marriage counselor for guidance and said, “When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking”. The counselor listened while the man continued. “Now, after ten years, it’s all […]