A new retirement community opened in town, and after the first batch of elderly people had moved in, the community manager summoned them to a meeting in the lounge. The manager addressed all the new residents, stating that he wanted to make them aware of some of the rules of […]
A young man was walking up to his grandparents house, when he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, naked from the waist down. Now he knew that his grandparents were getting on in years and old people do strange things, but this, to him at […]
Mary Ellen was visiting the big city for the first time. She checked into her hotel and the bellboy took her bags. She followed the bellboy, and as the door closed, she looked around and shook her fist at him. “Young man!”, she said, “I may be old and straight […]
An elderly Jewish taxi driver in New York City was parked waiting for a fare when along staggered a woman who was clearly drunk, but not only that, she was stark naked, shoeless even. The drunk naked woman staggered right up to his taxi, opened the door, more fell than […]
Murphy finished mowing the lawn and after doing so he sat down and had a cold beer. It really was quite a beautiful day, and as so often happens, the beer facilitated some deep thinking. A short time afterwards, his wife walked by and asked him what he was doing. […]
A very thrifty Scotsman (now that’s a rare sight), goes to a restaurant with his wife and young son for dinner. When they are seated, the Scotsman asks the waitress, “Do you have any special price deals?” The waitress replies, “Well tonight is Wednesday, so all kids eat free”. The […]
Two nuns were shopping for some items on a hot summer evening at a 7-Eleven store. As they were passing the beer cooler, one nun said to the other, “Wouldn’t a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening Sister Mary?” The second nun answered her, […]
A pretty young girl walked up to the fabric counter in a department store and asked the assistant, “I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?” “Only one kiss per yard”, replied the smirking male shop assistant with a drawl. “That will […]
A man goes to the dentist with bad toothache. Having checked the tooth, the dentist tells him, “your aching tooth will have to come out, but don’t worry it will take just five minutes”. The man asks the dentist, “How much will it cost to pull the tooth out?” The […]
You know what it’s like when you realize something and it seems good. Then, after a while you realize it’s not good, it’s bad. The worse is still to come though, when you realize that it’s neither good or bad, it’s just downright ugly. Here are a few of those […]
