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Sex On The Sabbath

A religious man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is allowed, or if it is deemed to be a sin. The answer, he feels, hinges on whether sex is considered work or play. He is determined to find out, and decides to ask a priest for his opinion on […]

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Suppository

Two elderly women were eating breakfast one morning at their care home. Margaret noticed something funny about June’s ear and she said, ‘”June, do you know you’ve got a suppository in your left ear?” June answered, “I have a suppository in my ear?” She pulled it out and stared at […]

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Donald Trump At The Bank

Donald Trump walks into a local bank in New York to cash a check. He is surrounded by Secret Service agents. As he approaches the cashier he says, “Good morning Ma’am, could you please cash this check for me?” The cashier is a lovely friendly lady with an African American […]

Photo copyright Tony Payne 2019

Top Ten Things You Don’t Want To Hear From Your Real Estate Agent

 This is a terrific list of the top ten things you don’t want to hear from your real estate agent when you go to complete the purchase of your new home. Just imagine that you have found the property of your dreams. It’s in your affordable price range, it’s just […]

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Productive Salesmanship

The weekend assignment for the class had been to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship. As the children walked back into their classroom on Monday morning, they were all very excited and ready to report on their experiences. Little Mary was the first one to stand up. […]

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The Fishing Trip

One afternoon the wife is at home in the middle of doing her housework, when the phone rings. It’s her husband on the phone. He says to her, “Hi honey. I have been asked to go on a fishing trip at a big lake up in Canada with my boss […]

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The Circus Adoption

A husband and wife who both work for the circus, go to an adoption agency. Social workers there raise doubts about their suitability to be adoptive parents. However, the couple produce photos of their 50 foot motor home, which is clean and well maintained, and to the social workers surprise, […]

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The Scottish Painter

The story goes that there was a Scottish painter and decorator named Hamish McTaggart, who was always very interested in making a penny where he could. One way that he found he could do this was to thin down his paint to make it go just a a wee bit […]

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How Did The Wedding Go?

“How did the wedding go?” asked the minister’s wife, after he returned home after performing a wedding ceremony in the chapel. The minister replied, “It went just fine, that is until I got to the part where I asked the bride if she would obey her husband, and she said, […]

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The Tour Bus

While out taking a group of elderly people on a day trip, a tour bus driver accidentally left a passenger behind after they had stopped for lunch. Feeling really bad and wanting to apologize to the passenger, the driver called their cell phone. “I don’t blame YOU“, the woman told […]