Beware Of Aliens Abducting Your Children

Beware Of Aliens Abducting Your Children

Beware Of Aliens Abducting Your Children We are your friends. We mean you no harm. Give us your young and we go away in peace. This is a “Children Crossing” street sign in the Old City of Southampton that has been tampered with by putting stickers on the adult figure […]

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Drunken Irishman

A drunken Irishman stumbles into the front door of a bar in Dublin and orders a Jameson’s whisky in a slurred voice. Knowing that this man, let’s call him Murphy, gets really obnoxious when he is drunk, the bartender says, “No way, buddy, you are way too drunk for me […]

Push Ups

You Look Tired

I was taking a coffee break at work when a colleague from the office came up to me and told me that I looked tired. “I am tired”, I told him. “I just finished doing 100 push-ups.” “Oh wow?”, he replied, “When did you start doing push-ups?” “Well, I did […]

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Head Covering

Some years ago, it was a requirement in the Catholic Church for women to wear a head covering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived at a country without her head covering. Noticing this, the priest informs her that she cannot enter the sanctuary without it. A […]

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Life In The Trenches

I know that this is an old joke about life in the trenches, it’s one that I myself heard when I was a young lad some 50 years ago, but as we have now reached the 100th anniversary of the start of the First World War, I think it’s an […]

The Bathroom Cabinet

Ever since she was a little girl my wife’s daughter had this habit of looking in the bathroom cabinet any time she went to visit family or friends. When she was really young she would usually either blurt out afterwards “their toilet is clean it’s ok to go in there […]

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The Broken Elevator

Three colleagues were attending a convention and returned to their hotel to find that the elevator was broken and that they would have to use the stairs to get to their rooms. The problem was that not only were they tired after a long day at the convention, the hotel […]

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Japanese Food

An American businessman goes on a business trip to Japan, but coming from the Midwest he isn’t too keen to try the local Japanese food, especially as he has heard a lot about the weird things that they eat, like raw fish, insects and rats etc. So having checked into […]

Overheard At A Nudist Colony

I was sitting on the terrace at a nudist colony the other week when I overheard the following discussion between two professors, a history professor and a psychology professor. The history professor asked his colleague: “Have you read Marx? The psychology professor replied: “Yes. I think it’s from the wicker […]

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Footballer’s Wives

Harold had just finished eating his breakfast and as usual was sitting at the kitchen table reading the daily paper. He came across an article about an actress who was about to marry an NFL football player,  known primarily for his lack of IQ and common knowledge, as well as […]