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Getting Married

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy : “So I hear you are getting married?” “Yep!”, his buddy replied. “Do I know her?”, the first senior citizen then asked. “Nope!”, his buddy replied. “This woman, is she good looking?”, the first senior citizen then asked. “Not really”, his […]

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Special Day

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, “Today is a special day. I bet you don’t know what day this is.” “Of course I do!” her husband indignantly answered, getting up from the table and going out the door to the office. At 10am, the doorbell rang. […]

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Men vs Women At The Drive Through ATM

A new sign in the lobby at our local bank reads: Please note that this bank is installing new drive-through ATM machines which will enable customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. […]

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Four Envelopes

The new manager walks into his office and, while settling into his new desk, finds four envelopes in one of the desk drawers. On one envelope, he finds the words “open me first,” and the others are numbered one to three. So, he opens the first envelope, and finds a […]

The Laughline The Best Funny Jokes

The Bachelor Cookbook

Two confirmed bachelors sat talking, and their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. “I got a cookbook once,” said one bachelor, “but I could never do anything with it.” “Too many fancy recipes in it, eh?” asked the other bachelor. “You said it”, the first bachelor replied. “Every one of […]

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Posh Restaurant

A man enters a posh restaurant, wearing a shirt that is open at the collar. He is met by a bouncer, who tells him that he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So, the man goes out to his car, and he looks around for a necktie, and discovers […]

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A Letter From Home

Do you remember getting letters from home when you were away? This is a letter written by a family in Arkansas to their son: Dear Son, I’m writing this letter slowly because I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you left home. Your Mom […]

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Home From College

One time when I was home from college visiting my folks, my mom asked me to set the table for dinner. I opened the refrigerator, and to my surprise taped to the inside of the door was a risque picture of a lovely, slender, perfectly built, but scantily dressed young […]

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Burial At Sea

Uncle Seamus who was a seafarer all his life, and a while before he passed away, he made his nephews Mick and Paddy promise to bury him at sea. Sure enough, the time came when Uncle Seamus passed away, and Mick and Paddy decided that they ought to fulfill the […]

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Marriage Problems

A man and woman are having marriage problems, and decide to end their union after what has been only a very short time together. After a most brief attempt to reconcile, the couple goes to court to finalize their break-up. The judge asks the husband, “What has brought you to […]