This is a great list of one liners that have an element of truth in them, and I am sure at least one of them, if not more, applies to each and every one of us. Enjoy.
- Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.
- Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you’re in bed with a relative.
- I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it. So I said Implants?” She hit me.
- I don’t do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.
- I live in my own little world. But it’s OK. They know me here.
- I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
- I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen too many of them get elected.
- I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom’s wise words: Don’t pick that up, you don’t know where it’s been!”
- A good friend will come and bail you out of jail…but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, “Dang!…that was fun!”
- I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn’t have signed up in the first place!
- When I was young we used to go “skinny dipping,” now I just “chunky dunk.”
- Don’t argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
- Why is it that our children can’t read a Bible in school, but they can in prison? (good point)
- If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called LABOR! (true!)
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