The Laughline
Thousands Of The Best Funny Jokes To Make You Laugh

Offbeat News 21st April 2010

Offbeat NewsOffbeat News is a selection of weird news stories that have surfaced in the last week.

Before I start with this week’s Offbeat News stories, I am sorry that I missed a couple of issues, but I got married two weeks ago and then went off on honeymoon. It would have been wrong to spend time publishing articles at such a precious time, but now I plan to catch up and hope you enjoy this bumper edition.

This is a selection of news items from the past week that had me laughing and bemused.

Iranian Cleric Blames Earthquakes On Promiscuous Women

According to one Iranian cleric, the wearing of revealing clothing by women and their promiscuous behavior is the cause of earthquakes.

Their immodest behavior leads men astray, leading to adultery, and this is the reason behind the earthquakes that have killed tens of thousands of people in Iran over the past decade.

My thoughts on this are the famous words spoken by a man to his partner after a good session in bed “Honey, did the earth move for you?”.

Read the full story here

Rats Eat Students Exam Papers

Apparently students at a university in Nepal are unlikely to get their end of year exam papers marked, because they have been eaten by rats.

The students exam papers were locked away for safety at the local police station, however by mistake they were put into a storeroom that was infested with rats.

Read the full story here

Aquarobics Class Halted By Crocodile In Pool

An exercise class at the Howard Spring Holiday Park in Darwin, Northern Territory in Australia, had to be halted after a crocodile was spotted in the pool.

Apparently none of the women were too keen to start the class before the ranger arrived to catch and remove the crocodile.

Seems to me that this was a missed opportunity. Just think of the calories that they could have burned off while trying to avoid the critter.

Read the full story here

Colorful Kiwi Leaves Bizarre Funeral Instructions

Andy Nathan, a 43 year old New Zealander who had been described as “extremely colorful” passed away last week.

He left behind an envelope with the words “Eek, “I’ve Carked It” written inside, together with instructions for his funeral, which included men to wear Hawaiian Shirts and women to paint their toe nails.

Well I guess we still have to wait for news of a nudist funeral. That would give the term “flying the flag at half mast” a new meaning, and would mean black looks for anyone not doing so. As for anyone checking whether they were or not… well I leave that up to your imagination…

Read the full story here

French Letter Arrives 220 Years Late

A letter written in 1790 that was sent to the village of Saix instead of another called Seix has been found during a clearout of the municipal archives, and eventually delivered under orders from the Mayor.

Officials from the town of Saix will drive the 200 kilometers on 5th June to deliver the letter to their counterparts in Seix.

Sounds like there is still a postal problem in France, or does the local government double as mail men?

Read the full story here

Carlsberg Workers End Beer Strike

Workers at the Carlsberg brewery in Copenhagen went on strike last week because the brewery decided to reduce their free beer allowance from three bottles a day to one.

Apparently only drivers are now allowed the privilege of three bottles of beer a day, while warehouse workers are only entitled to one, and alcohol is only permitted during their lunch break.

I wonder what the conditions are across the pond in Tennessee, where the Jack Daniels Distillery is located in a dry county, where liqueur is not permitted. Can you imagine being so close to all that booze and not being allowed even a single drop? It’s a bit like working at a chocolate factory, but forbidden to nibble…

Read the full story here

Penis Sculpture Must Go Before Papal Visit

Now this is a classic if there ever was one…

The Mayor of a town in Malta has ordered that a statue resembling a giant penis be removed before the Pope’s visit.

The statue is alongside a road that the Pope will be driven along on his way from the airport to the capital of Valletta.

Surprisingly enough I can’t think of a good response to this, but I am sure some of you will…

Read the full story here

Man Gets Stuck In The Sand He Was Stealing

A man loaded up his pickup truck with sand from Coco Plum Beach at Marathon in the Florida Keys, and when he tried to drive off, the truck got stuck in the sand.

When deputies arrived on the scene, they found the driver to be intoxicated, and arrested him for grand theft of sand, criminal mischief and also driving while under the influence.

Read the full story here

Student Brings Rabid Bat To School For Show And Tell

The health department in Sarasota, Florida, issued a warning after a rabid bat was found in a school classroom.

A student had brought it to school on the school bus to show his friends and had passed it around the classroom.

Wow what a good plot for the opening scenes of a new Zombie movie – rabid bat turns school children into mouth frothing zombies…

Read the full story here


ABC News Australia

South Florida Sun-Sentinel

BBC News

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

The Laughline
WP Twitter Auto Publish Powered By :