The Laughline
Thousands Of The Best Funny Jokes To Make You Laugh

Mid Life For Women

Woman Hair In Curlers. Image Used Under A Collective Commons License from:

These are a few thoughts about coming to terms with mid life for women.

Most women seem to be fine with themselves as they moved from being teenagers to adults, get married and have children, but then having been comfortable with their lives, that dreadful thought happens and they realize they have reachec middle age.

At that point a women often suffers a mid life crisis. She isn’t young any more. She begins to see wrinkles appearing, spots the first (of many) grey hairs, and that shapely body she took years perfecting has suffered from age as well as neglect and motherhood.

Oprah dedicated a whole show to the topic of how great menopause will be, but seriously, whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60 (or maybe even just pushing your luck), you will probably relate to the following facts about middle age, your mid life:

Mid life is when the growth of hair on your legs slows down. This gives you plenty of time to care for your newly acquired moustache.

In mid life women no longer have upper arms, they have wingspans. In middle age, they are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, they are flying squirrels in drag.

Mid life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear end without turning around.

Mid life is when you go for a mammogram and realize that it is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless on film.

Mid life is when you want to grab every pretty young thing with firm breasts wearing a tube top and scream “Listen honey, even the Roman Empire fell and those will, too!”

Mid life brings with it the wisdom to know that life throws you curves and you are now sitting on your biggest ones.

Mid life is when you look at your tattoed, peirced, half naked teenage daughter and think, “I suffered have stretch marks for this?”

In mid life your memory starts to go. In fact, the only thing some middle aged women can still retain is water.

Mid life means that your “Body By Jake” now includes “Legs By Rand McNally”. There are more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin.

Mid life means that you become more reflective. You start pondering the “big” questions, such as what is life, or why am I here? More than likely though these are going to take the form of something like “How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it’s no longer a healthy choice?”

However it’s not all mad. Mid life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important…

Women realize that breasts sag, hips expand and chins double. But it’s our loved ones who make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now for the body you had back then? Maybe your bodies simply have to expand to hold all of the wisdom and love you have acquired.

Well, that’s one philosophical way of looking at life, I suggest you stick to it because having reached middle age, that’s the only way you are going to feel good about it.

Image Used Under A Collective Commons License from:

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

One thought on “Mid Life For Women”