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Medical Records

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://pixabay.com/en/cardiac-people-doctor-hospital-217140/The following are extracts that have been taken from medical records, written by physicians and from examinations of patients across North America.

Sometimes when we are writing notes, it’s easy to write something that reads funny afterwards, but some of these extracts make you wonder about the state of mind of the person actually writing them.

Remember, these are not made up statements, they are real!


By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.

On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.

She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

The patient refused an autopsy.

She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.

Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.

The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.

She is numb from her toes down.

While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

Patient was alert and unresponsive.

When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

And, in our opinion, the best one is…..

The patient was to have a bowel resection. However he took a job as a stockbroker instead.


Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://pixabay.com/en/cardiac-people-doctor-hospital-217140/

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