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Living In Alaska As An Eskimo

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://picryl.com/media/mrs-kleinschmidt-a-dinner-guest-in-eskimo-igloo-with-dinner-of-frozen-crabs

You know what it’s like, living in the city with heavy traffic and too many people. Allen got to wondering about what it would be like, living in Alaska as an Eskimo.

The more he thought about this, the more he realized that the city was getting him down and that this was what he wanted to do.

So, he sold his house and car, said goodbye to his family and friends and ventured out into the great unknown.

A week later, he found a local tribe and approached the chief, proclaiming that he wanted to be an Eskimo and to live like them.

The, chief thinking that this man must have lost all sense of reality, told Allen, “Okay, so you want to be an Eskimo. There are three tests that you need to pass in order to become one of us”.

The Eskimo chief continued…

“First, you must drink 10 gallons of homemade rot gut whisky, all at a time with no food or breaks. Then, you must go out into the wild bare-handed and kill a polar bear. Once you have done that, you must return here and find the oldest, ugliest, dirtiest female in the tribe and make passionate love to her all night long”.

Allen agreed to the challenge and got himself mentally and physically prepared.

He picked up the barrel of whisky, which took a while to drink, but he managed it, all in one go, without taking any breaks or eating any food.

He then set off into the frozen wasteland.

Time passed and the Eskimo chief chief figured that Allen was gone for good.

However, to his surprise, two days later Allen returned to the village.

He was a disfigured mess, battered and bruised, with his clothes practically gone and great gaping wounds all over his body. There was not a spot on his body that was not mauled nearly to the bone.

Allen staggered up to the chief and said, “Now, where’s that woman you wanted me to kill?”


Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://picryl.com/media/mrs-kleinschmidt-a-dinner-guest-in-eskimo-igloo-with-dinner-of-frozen-crabs

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