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Little Johnny And The Balloon

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One day, little Johnny blows up a balloon, and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger.

His mother tells him to stop it, as he is liable to break something, but little Johnny just carries on flicking his balloon all around the house.

“Johnny!” his mother screams at him. “You are driving me crazy, knock it off before you break something!”

Well, little Johnny stops playing with his ballon,  and eventually his mother leaves for a short trip to the shops.

A few minutes later, Johnny starts up with the balloon again, and he bounces it all around the house, until he ends up in the bathroom.

He gives the balloon one last flick, and it lands in the toilet where he leaves it.

A while later, his mother comes in, and while she is putting away the groceries, she gets the urge to go to the toilet.

Now this is no ordinary urge, it’s a diarrhea run!!!

She can hardly make it to the toilet in time, and SPLASH, out it comes (I guess I don’t need to describe this in any great detail, we have all experienced it).

When she has finished, she looks down and can’t believe what she’s seeing.

She is not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet!

In a panic, Johnny’s mother calls her doctor.

She describes what she is seeing to the doctor, and he is just as baffled as she describes the situation, but he assures her that he will be over shortly to examine everything.

About twenty minutes later, the doctor arrives, goes upstairs to the bathroom, and he gets down on his knees and takes a long, hard look at the thing in the toilet.

Finally, he takes out his pen and sort of touches it to see what it might be, and POP!

The balloon explodes, and poop is everywhere.

It’s on the doctor, the bathroom walls, it’s splattered all over the shower cubicle, the mirror, literally everything in the bathroom is covered in poop!

‘Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?’ Johnny’s mother asks.

The doctor says, “Well I never. I have been in this business for over 30 years, and this is the first time I have ever actually seen a fart !”

You’re laughing aren’t you.. I know you are!!!

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Growing up, we always went to my Grandmother’s house for the Christmas holidays, and on Christmas Day there was always a balloon in our Christmas Cracker.

I used to spend countless hours flicking and batting those balloons around, much to my Grandmother’s annoyance, and truth be known it most likely drove my parents and my aunt and uncle crazy as well.

One of my favourite tricks, was to rub a balloon on my sweater, creating static electricity, and then I would reach up and stick the balloon to the ceiling in the dining room. Quite often, I would have as many as a dozen balloons stuck up there, and as nobody could easily reach them, after we went back home again after the holidays, there they remained.

My grandmother would get on the telephone to my Mum, and complain about the black rings on the dining room ceiling, where the static electricity had attracted dust, and of course after the balloons had drifted down, that ring was left on the ceiling.

Fond memories of growing up and playing with balloons.  Do you have any to relate? If so, please leave us a comment.

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