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Life Is All Backwards

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I got to thinking last night, as you do after a few beers and you know what, I think that life is all backwards.

I know, that sounds like a load of rubbish, especially after I have had a few beers, but drinking beer sometimes does send me off into a philosophical mood. Anyway, hear me out and you might just end up agreeing with me.

So, if you think about it, the most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time and what do you get at the end? A death.

What’s that supposed to be, a bonus for completing your life?

I seriously do think the life cycle is all backwards.

You should die first, to get it out of the way, right.

Then, you go to live in an old folk’s home.

You get kicked out of the old folk’s home for being too healthy and go collect your pension, enjoying a few years of doing whatever you want.

Then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work forty years until you are young enough to enjoy your retirement.

You drink alcohol, you party, get to make out with the most gorgeous women and then you get ready for High School.

You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play with toys all day.

At this time of your life, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby and have parents tending to you all day and night.

Then you go back further still.

You spend your last nine months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa and room service on tap inside your mother’s womb.

Then finally, what a climax, you finish off as an orgasm!

So, what do you think? Case closed?

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