Many of us know the main Gods of ancient Greece, but there were also many lesser known Greek Gods that you may never have heard of.
So, to set the record straight, to enlighten you, enhance your knowledge of ancient Greece and maybe to help you enlighten your friends (and to give them a quick giggle or a groan), here are some lesser known Greek Gods that have apparently been ignored or forgotten by historians for various and sundry reasons.
Some of these gods were obviously important and useful in everyday life habits. Others apparently had no redeeming value whatsoever, but somehow managed to achieve God or Goddess status nevertheless.
This list is presented here in the hopes that it will prove helpful to someone somewhere, sometime.
Egregious – God of Errors.
Though he spent virtually all his life with the other gods and goddesses on Mount Olympus, he is rumored to have left for a short vacation to the south of France where he met and had an affair with the French goddess, Faux Pas.
Egregious was one of the smartest Gods on Mount Olympus. In fact, many thought he might be as smart as Zeus, though no one would ever admit this publicly.
However, his unfortunate habit of making so many mistakes kept him from becoming one of the better known gods.
When asked how someone so smart could make so many stupid mistakes, his reply was always “You learn from your mistakes. Obviously, I’ve made so MANY mistakes, I’ve become a genius!”
Melanoma – God of Tanning.
Often seen away from Mount Olympus and down along the sandy beaches of southern Greece, Melanoma could have been ranked up there with the other major gods of his time.
He was strong, handsome, and had a body that attracted all the goddesses.
His only major fault was getting involved with the mortal Macedonian strip queen, Ultra Violet. The two of them constantly played naked in the sun along the Greek shoreline.
Zeus, upon seeing Melanoma cavorting with a non-Olympian, decided to punish him by taking away his immortality.
This didn’t seem to bother Melanoma at first and he continued to associate with Ultra Violet and played in the buff each day.
Soon though, Melanoma started to notice small dark patches on his skin that eventually became cancerous. He died a quick, but horrible death, with Ultra Violet at his side till the very end.
Ozone – God of Memory.
Ozone was another failed god.
Upon attaining godhood, Zeus asked Ozone to choose the subject for which he would be revered for all time. He chose Memory.
To celebrate his attaining full godliness, Ozone married his school sweetheart, Amnesia.
However, their foggy relationship soon resulted in the complete loss of all the records of all the great gods on Mount Olympus.
Zeus retaliated by immediately expelling Ozone to Southern California, where he was held prisoner in the dreaded “Inversion Layer” along with the evil nether-world dragon-god of progress and technology, Smog.
Pancreas – Demi-God of Dessert.
Father of the sugar gods, Arabinose, Fructose and Glucose, Pancreas was a short-lived god who spent most of his time on coffee breaks eating donuts.
His marriage to Diabetes was no help to him at all and he died soon after they had their three sons.
Zirconia – Goddess of Costume Jewellery.
Often in direct competition with the goddesses Titanium and Platinum, Zirconia was pretty much always relegated to being allowed only to attend the lesser parties on Mount Olympus at which the great gods and goddesses were rarely present.
As a result, Zirconia was subsequently ignored by most historians and now only shows up on the backs of magazines for really cheap prices.
Well there you go. Do you feel enlightened yet?
Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pixabay.com/photos/greece-souvenirs-masks-gods-1739244/