I was in a sleazy bar on the wrong side of town last night, standing at the bar waiting for a beer, when this large ugly woman came up behind me and slapped me on the butt.
She said, “Hey sexy, I really dig old men, how about giving me your number.”
I looked at her and she was really butt ugly, what you might call “fugly”, and she was mean looking too.
I said to her, “Have you got a pen.”
She said, “I sure do.”
I said, “Well, you better get back into it before the farmer notices you’re missing.”
I made an appointment with the dentist, my surgery is on Monday.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://www.flickr.com/photos/donkeyhotey/35050142234