I Really Have To Fart!

Angela rides the bus to work every day. Today, however, she isn’t feeling too good, and she thinks to herself “Oh no, I really have to fart!”

She is in a lot of discomfort because she has a pain in her lower abdomen. It’s a tremendous build up of gas from something she ate last night, and no matter how embarrassing it might be, she knows that the inevitable is going to happen, and there is no way that she is going to be able to prevent it.

However, the bus is quite crowded, and she doesn’t know what to do.

Then, she remembers that pretty soon the bus will run across some railroad tracks, and it will rattle and bang and make lots of noise. She will be able to have a good fart and nobody will know.

What she doesn’t know though, is that the bus driver also rides the bus everyday, and he has grown tired of all the noise the bus makes when it rattles and bangs across the railroad tracks. So, last night he stayed late after work, and had the maintenance crew tighten up all the loose bolts and lubricate all the moving parts to quiet down the old bus.

Well, here come the railroad tracks, Angela raises up on one cheek and lets it rip. It was one long, loud, juicy sounding fart.

However, the bus didn’t rattle and bang like it usually did, and now you could hear a pin drop inside the bus as everybody started looking around.

Angela thought that maybe no one knew who did it, and that she should just act natural.

She thought that it might help if she just started a conversation with someone as if nothing had happened. So, she leaned over to the man sitting across the aisle from her, and casually asked him, “Do you have a bus ticket?”

He politely responded, “No madam I don’t, but if it will help, the next tree we pass I will try and grab you a handful of leaves….”

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