How To Know If You Are In California

As States go, California is pretty unique in many ways.

It’s not just the West Coast geography and the climate, there is just something about California and it’s people that make it different.

If you were to wake up one morning and suddenly not know where you were, here is a handy guide to help you know if you are in California or not…

  • Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
  • You make over $250,000 and still can’t afford a house.
  • You take a bus and are shocked at 2 people carrying on a conversation in English.
  • Your child’s 3rd grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.
  • You can’t remember…is pot illegal?
  • You’ve been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
  • You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown and can taste the difference between Sumatra and Ethiopian.
  • You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.
  • A really great parking space can move you to tears.
  • A low speed pursuit will interrupt ANY television broadcast.
  • Gas cost 75 cents per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
  • A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don’t even notice.
  • Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS George Clooney.
  • Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
  • Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into BDSM and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.
  • It’s sprinkling and there’s a report on every news station about “STORM WATCH”.
  • You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:00 PM Tae Bo class.
  • You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones or pagers.
  • It’s sprinkling outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
  • You AND your dog have therapists.

 

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