The Laughline
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How To Be A Good Cowboy

Imagine that you lived in the old Wild West, chances are you could have been a cowboy.

If you were a cowboy, you would have a better chance of living better and living longer if you had access to this handy guide on how to be a good cowboy. I guess what we call “common sense” came naturally to some cowboys, but to many others I suspect, life’s lessons came as a shock.

  • Don’t squat with your spurs on.
  • Don’t interfere with something that ain’t bothering you none.
  • If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.
  • Always drink upstream from the herd.
  • Telling a man to “git” and making him do it are two entirely different propositions.
  • When you give a personal lesson in meanness to a critter or to a person don’t be surprised if they learn it.
  • If you’re riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.
  • The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
  • If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
  • And finally, never, ever, miss a good opportunity to shut up.

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