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How Different Life Might Be If Men “Really” Ruled the World

Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.flickr.com/photos/bjornmeansbear/4986936727

Have you ever stopped and wondered how different life might be if men “REALLY” ruled the world?

Men think very differently to women and in many ways have a completely different outlook on life.

Not only that, men also have different priorites to women.

Keeping the house clean and tidy or grocery shopping would take a lower priority to watching football and hanging out with your buddies.

Here are just a few thoughts on how different our world might be, if only…

  • Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.
  • Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you“.
  • Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your name again” cards.
  • When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the football game, she would appear in a little box in the corner of the screen and during a time-out.
  • Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a “It was nice while it lasted, better luck next time” would pretty much do it.
  • Birth control would come in ale or lager.
  • Each year, your raise would be linked to the fortunes of the football team of your choice.
  • The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
  • At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you’d jump out your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus, right into your car like Fred Flintstone.
  • Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the “public ugliness” ordinance.
  • Tanks would be far easier to rent.
  • Garbage would take itself out.
  • Instead of a beer belly, you’d get “beer biceps“.
  • Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife to be with a giant foam hand that said, “You’re #1!
  • Valentine’s Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.
  • On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you’d get the day off to go drinking. The same would apply for Mother’s Day, too.
  • St. Patrick’s Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it would be celebrated on the 17th of every month.
  • Cops would be broadcast live, and you could phone in advice to the pursuing cops. Or to the crooks.
  • The victors in any athletic competition would get to kill and eat the losers.
  • The only show opposite Monday Night Football would be Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle.
  • It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of fuel.
  • Every man would get four real “Get Out of Jail Free” cards a year.
  • When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-alec answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. As in:
    Cop: “You know how fast you were going”
    You: “All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place”
    Cop: “Nice one. That’s $10 off”
  • People would never talk about how fresh they felt.
  • Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.

Once you start to think about it, the possibilities are endless. Any more you can think of? Just leave us a comment and we will add them to the list.


Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.flickr.com/photos/bjornmeansbear/4986936727

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