The Laughline
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Heaven’s Bureaucratic Examination

Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.pxfuel.com/en/free-photo-xnwcd

I bet you didn’t know that all arrivals in heaven have to go through a bureaucratic examination to determine whether admission will be granted to a new arrival or not.

One room has a clerk, who inputs computerized records of what each applicant did on his or her last day of life.

The first applicant of the day, explained that his last day on Earth was not a good one.

“I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed, looking flushed and rather breathless. She claimed she had just got out of the shower. Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry as well. I knew she had to be into some hanky-panky and I began to look for her lover”.

The man took a breath and continued, “I went onto the balcony of our 9th floor apartment and found the SOB clinging to the balcony rail by his finger tips. I was so angry, that I began bashing his fingers with a flower pot. He let go and fell, but his fall was broken by some awnings and bushes”.

The clerk looked on in anticipation, while the man took another breath and continued with his story.

“On seeing he was still alive, I found enough super human strength to drag our antique cedar chest to the balcony and throw it over. It hit the man and killed him. At this point the stress got to me and I suffered a massive heart attack and died”.

The clerk thanked the man for his story and sent him on to the next office.

The second applicant of the day said that his last day was his worst day ever.

“I was on the roof of an apartment building working on the AC equipment. I stumbled over my tools and toppled off the building. I managed to grab onto the balcony rail of a 9th floor apartment, but then some idiot came rushing out onto the balcony and bashed my hands with a flower pot. I fell, but hit some awnings and bushes and survived, but as I looked up I saw a huge chest falling toward me. I tried to crawl out of the way but failed and was hit and killed by the chest”.

Naturally the clerk couldn’t help but chuckle as he directed the man to the next room.

He is still giggling to himself when his third customer of the day enters.

He apologizes for giggling and says to the man, “I doubt that your last day was as interesting as the fellow in here just before you”.

“I don’t know”, the man replied.

“Picture this, I’m buck naked, hiding in this cedar chest when…..”


Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.pxfuel.com/en/free-photo-xnwcd

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