These are all apparently “real” emergency calls to 911, the emergency service call number in the USA.
I know these sound bizarre and unreal, but then some people are bizarre, unreal and just plain stupid!
The more I think about it, the more I feel conconvinced that these are transcripts of genuine calls, especially when the news pretty much anywhere often reports the dumb reasons why people have called the emergency services.
Enjoy…
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?
Think about it…
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I’m sick and tired of it!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I’m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn’t have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one?
Dispatcher: Yes, ma’am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I’m not stupid.
And my personal favorite…
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What’s the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!
And the winner is…
Dispatcher: 9-1-1.
Caller: Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath. Darn… I think I’m going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I’m at a pay phone. Harding and NW12th.
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No, why?
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police!
Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.power99fm.com/2018/12/31/hello-911/