He is surrounded by Secret Service agents.
As he approaches the cashier he says, “Good morning Ma’am, could you please cash this check for me?”
The cashier is a lovely friendly lady with an African American heritage.
She instantly recognizes who the customer is. Well who wouldn’t? What with the “Cheeto like” complexion, bad hair and even worse attitude, not to mention the group of secret service agents…
However, the cashier, sticking to the bank rules, treats her latest customer just like any other ordinary customer.
“It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID?”
“Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn’t think there was any need to. I am Donald Trump, the President of the United States of AMERICA!!!”
“Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of 9/11, impostors, forgers, money laundering, and bad mortgage underwriting not to mention requirements of the Dodd/Frank legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID.”
“Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am.”
“I am sorry Mr. President but these are the bank rules and I must follow them.”
“I am urging you, please, to cash this check. I need to buy a gift for Melania for Valentine’s Day”
“Look Mr. President, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into one of our bank branches without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a coffee cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his check.”
The cashier continued: “Another time, Andy Roddick came into the same place without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot where as the tennis ball landed in a coffee cup. With that shot we cashed his check. So, Mr. President, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, as the President of the United States?”
Trump stands there thinking, and thinking, and finally says, “Honestly, my mind is a total blank… there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can’t think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do and I don’t have a clue.”
“Will that be large or small bills, Mr. President?”
Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Donald_Trump_August_19,_2015_(cropped).jpg