Young Billy wanted to be the best, the most feared gunfighter in the Old Wild West, so when he spotted Doc Holliday having a beer in a saloon in an old western town, he walked over and asked if he could have a word with him.
“Sure, son, what’s on your mind?” asked Doc Holliday, looking up at the young man.
“Sir, I want to be the best gunfighter there is, and I’d be in your debt if you’d give me a lesson or two” Billy said.
“Well, the first thing I’d do”, Doc Holliday suggested, having a slug of his beer, “is tie the bottom of your holster to your leg so your pistol don’t get caught in it when you draw.”
Billy did as Doc Holliday suggested, then whipped out his pistol and shot the string-tie off the guy playing the piano.
“Hey, you were right, Doc”, Billy replied. “What else would you recommend I do?”
“If you cut a notch in the top of your holster where the hammer hits, your gun will come out smoother” Doc Holliday suggested, taking another slug of his beer.
So, Billy did as Doc recommended, drew again and shot a cufflink off the piano player.
“This is great, Doc” said the delighted Billy, “anything more?”
“One more thing”, Doc Holliday replied. “Get that tub of lard over there and rub it all over your pistol.”
“You mean so it’ll slide out of the holster faster?” young Billy asked.
“No,” Doc Holliday replied. “That’s so when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano and shoves your gun up your butt, it won’t hurt as much.”
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