The Laughline
Thousands Of Really Funny Jokes To Make You Laugh

Christmas Eve

Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.flickr.com/photos/ladydragonflyherworld/4123836038It is Christmas Eve and a man is up on a rooftop about to jump off and end it all.

His wife is leaving him for another man. He has lost his job and he owes thousands of pounds to the bank. Life has just gone so horribly wrong for him, he can’t take any more.

Just as he finishes his prayers and closes his eyes, ready to jump, Santa Claus comes up from behind and taps him on the shoulder.

“Are you Ok?” asks Santa Claus.

The man explains why he is so miserable and gets ready to jump off the roof.

“STOP!” shouts Santa Claus. “It’s Christmas Eve”.

Quickly, Santa continues, before the man has a chance to jump.

“I will grant you three wishes to solve your problems on the understanding that you will grant me a small favour in return!”

“Would you?” the man replies. “That would be wonderful!! Thank you, thank you!”

Santa Claus promises him:

“You shall go home in 1 hour and your wife will be dressed in her sexiest underwear, begging for forgiveness and longing for your return. She will have no recollection of her new boyfriend”.

“You shall go into work tomorrow, sit at your desk and continue with your work. Your salary will have increased by 50%. Also, nobody will have any recollection of your sacking”.

“You shall go to your bank and you will be ten thousand pounds in credit. You will also have no outstanding bills”.

“Oh thank you, thank you!” says the man. “What is it that I can do for you?”

Santa Claus asks the man to drop his pants and bend over.

After a quite brutal rogering, which made his eyes water, Santa Claus asks the man how old he is.

“36”, replies the man.

“Ho, Ho, Ho, THIRTY SIX! And you still believe in Santa Claus?”


I found this even funnier if you inagine Santa talking like Billy Connelly.

Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.flickr.com/photos/ladydragonflyherworld/4123836038

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