The Best Collection Of Scottish Jokes

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Image used under a Collective Commons License from: ay mon we have a reet crackin’ collection of Scottish Jokes for you here.

If you like funny stories and jokes about Bagpipes (scary things those), men in Kilts (even scarier), Scottish accents, or anything Scottish (take Sean Connery for example), this is the place to come.

Now Scotsmen also have a reputation for being some of the tightest people on Earth when it comes to money, especially those who live up in the Highlands of Scotland. Trying to get money from a Scotsman is like trying to get blood out of a stone, and so you also might find some miserly jokes in here as well.

We hope you enjoy this selection of fine Scottish jokes. Please don’t be mean like a stereo-typical Scotsman, share the jokes and share the laughter.

Image used under a Collective Commons License from:

Image used under a Collective Commons License from

The Scotsman’s Wedding

A Scotsman is due to get married and he and his friend Archie are sitting in their local pub discussing Jock’s forthcoming wedding. “Ach, it’s all going grand”, says Jock. “I’ve got everything organised already: the flowers, the church, the cars, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag […]