Hamish was at the pub getting drunk and bragging about how he was really tight with his money. With Scotsmen stereo-typically being miserly and reluctant to part with their money, this set the whole pub talking and all the men were boasting about their money saving exploits. “I am so […]
The Best Collection Of Scottish Jokes
17 posts
Och ay mon we have a reet crackin’ collection of Scottish Jokes for you here.
If you like funny stories and jokes about Bagpipes (scary things those), men in Kilts (even scarier), Scottish accents, or anything Scottish (take Sean Connery for example), this is the place to come.
Now Scotsmen also have a reputation for being some of the tightest people on Earth when it comes to money, especially those who live up in the Highlands of Scotland. Trying to get money from a Scotsman is like trying to get blood out of a stone, and so you also might find some miserly jokes in here as well.
We hope you enjoy this selection of fine Scottish jokes. Please don’t be mean like a stereo-typical Scotsman, share the jokes and share the laughter.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://www.flickr.com/photos/mikecogh/7118574995
I think by now everyone must have heard stories about what Scotsmen wear under their kilts. Well, a tourist who was visiting Edinburgh, was mightily curious about this fact. Having seen a lot of handsome and rugged Scottich men wearing kilts, she finally plucked up the courage to ask one […]
Happy New Year from Russian folk group Otava Yo. If you don’t believe a folk group from Russia can play some rocking Celtic music, just watch the video. This is a brilliant tribute to Scotland and Ireland, with bagpipes too, which are also an instrument used in traditional Russian music. […]
An Australian walked into a pub and stood there at the bar, happening to stand there beside a Scotsman. The two of them got chatting, as you do when you are standing at the bar in a pub and supping a few beers. The Scotsman was talking away with with […]
A helicopter lost power while flying over a remote Scottish island and the pilot had no choice but to make an emergency landing. After a somewhat tricky but successful landing on a hill top, the pilot got out of the helicopter and made his way on foot to a cottage […]
It was the opening night of the latest production at the theatre and this production was a murder mystery play. A Scotsman went up to the ticket office, only to learn that the show was completely sold out. He found an usher and pleaded with him, in his Scottish brogue […]
A very thrifty Scotsman (now that’s a rare sight), went to a restaurant one evening with his wife and young son for dinner. When they had been seated, the Scotsman asked the waitress, “Do you have any special price deals?” The waitress replied, “Well sir, tonight as it’s Wednesday, all […]
A Scotsman is due to get married and he and his friend Archie are sitting in their local pub discussing Jock’s forthcoming wedding. “Ach, it’s all going grand”, says Jock. “I’ve got everything organised already: the flowers, the church, the cars, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag […]
Angus was a young Scotsman who decided to see what it would be like to live in Australia. He flew out to Sydney, where he found himself an apartment in Kings Cross and settled in. After a week or two, his mother called from Aberdeen to see how her son […]
It had been a terrible winter for the Highlands of Scotland with most of the land being buried under thick snow. It had been a colder winter than normal and there had been three months of unbroken blizzards, one heavy snow storm after another. As a result, most of Scotland […]
The story goes that some years ago there was a Scottish painter and decorator named Hamish McTaggart, who was always very interested in making a penny where he could. One way that he found he could do this was to thin down his paint to make it go just a […]
A wealthy Arab sheik was admitted to the hospital for surgery. As the sheik had a rare type of blood, the hospital didn’t have any and none could be found locally, a call was sent out to try and find anyone who had a match to see if they would […]