SATAN AND THE OLD MAN Just a few minutes before the church services started, congregation were sitting in their pews and talking, as is quite normal in a small town church where everybody knows each other. It’s a good opportunity to catch up on news and of course to gossip. […]
Jokes in category: Religious Jokes
59 posts
Some years ago, it was a requirement in the Catholic Church for women to wear a head covering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived at a country without her head covering. Noticing this, the priest informs her that she cannot enter the sanctuary without it. A […]
On Sunday morning in chapel the preacher asked the congregation “If there is anyone with ‘special needs’ who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar.” A number of people stood up and formed a line, including Jim Bob, who stood with the others […]
When Brian was at the cemetery to put some flowers on his Grandmother’s grave, he noticed a man who appeared to be very distraught. The man was in front of a gravestone several yards away, and he was on his knees, hands tightly clasped in front of him, rocking back […]
Four novice nuns were about to take their vows in the convent. All dressed in their white gowns, they came into the chapel with the Mother Superior, and were about to undergo the ceremony to marry them to Jesus, to make them “Brides of Christ.” Just minutes before the ceremony […]
An engineer dies, goes up to heaven and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, I see that you are an engineer. I’m sorry, but you have come to the wrong place.” So, the engineer heads downstairs, lots of them, mile after mile, hundreds […]
Old Abraham, a Jewish man, had reached the end of his days and was dying, and his family had gathered around to pay their respects and to be there when he passed over. Lying there on his deathbed, he looked up and said, “Is my wife here?” His wife replies: […]
A clergyman parked his car in a no parking zone in the city because he was short of time and couldn’t find a free parking space. Feeling guilty, he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: “I have driven around the block 10 times. If I don’t park […]
Three fairly dumb looking men just died and are waiting outside the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question. St. Peter asks the first man, “WHAT IS EASTER?” The man replies, “Oh, that’s easy, it’s the […]
A drunk who smelled of beer sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a […]
The priest of a small Irish church said to his congragation, “Anyone with ‘special needs’ who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar.” So Seamus got in line and when it was his turn, the priest said to him “Seamus, what do you […]
One day in the South Pacific, a navy ship saw smoke coming from an uncharted island, where there appeared to be three huts. Upon arriving at the shore they were met by a shipwreck survivor. He said, “I’m so glad you’re here! I’ve been alone on this island for more […]
Each Friday night after work, Michael would fire up his outdoor grill and cook chicken. All of Michael’s neighbors were Catholic and since this was Lent, they refrained from eating meat on Friday. The delicious aroma from the grilled chicken wafted throughout the neighborhood causing so much frustration for the […]
One Sunday a pastor told the congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns. After the offering plates were passed, […]
A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he’d make a deal with his son: ‘You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible […]