Jokes in category:  Old People

85 posts

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Costumi_Napoletani_-_Anziani_(Old_People_of_Naples).jpgThis is a collection of jokes about old people. Getting old isn’t something that any of us relish, but there isn’t a lot that we can do about it.

So, just do like I do, enjoy life as well as you can, and see the funny side of growing older.

If you do like what you see on our site, please don’t forget to share with your friends. There are buttons to share using Facebook and Twitter on every page.

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In Our Senior Years

My wife and I, now both a little hard of hearing in our senior years, were watching golf on TV. I turned to my wife and said, “In my next life, I’m going to be rich and play all those beautiful golf courses with their great bars and dining and […]

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The Crowded Waiting Room

An 86 year old man went to the doctors, walked into the crowded waiting room and approached the desk. The receptionist asked, “Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?” “There’s something wrong with my dick”, the old man replied. The receptionist became irritated by this and said […]

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The Biker And The Old Lady

A biker stops by the local Harley shop to have his bike fixed. They couldn’t do the repairs while he waited, and since he didn’t live far away he decided that he would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the hardware store, where he bought a […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://lizwann.com/2017/05/09/aging-with-grace-how-death-will-restore-youth/

Wrinkles

I said to my wife, “Boy, you are getting old! Look at all your wrinkles!” She said, “They aren’t wrinkles, they are laugh lines! I told her, “You have to be kidding me, nothing is that funny!” And that’s when the trouble started. I never saw the frying pan coming… […]

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The Elderly Aunt’s Visit

An elderly lady from a small village in the boondocks went to visit her niece and her husband who lived in a house in a very fashionable suburb of a big city, close to a very well known golf course. On the second afternoon of her visit, the elderly lady […]

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You Know You Are Getting Older When

You know you are getting older when: You and your teeth don’t sleep together. Your back goes out, but you stay home. You wake up, looking like your driver’s license picture. It takes two tries to get up from the couch. Your idea of a night out is sitting on […]

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Two Elderly Ladies

Two elderly ladies meet while out shopping, after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other’s health, as elderly folks do, one asked how the other’s husband was doing. “Oh! Bob died last week”, the elderly lady said. “He went out to the garden to dig […]

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My Granddaughter’s iPad

I recently went to visit my granddaughter and her husband and asked if I could borrow a newspaper. “This is the 21st century Granddad”, she said. “We don’t waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad”. I can tell you this. That fly never knew what hit him. As for […]

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Cocktail Lounge

An older gentleman who was in his mid 80’s, walked into an upscale cocktail lounge. He was very well dressed, smelling slightly of an expensive aftershave, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel, shoes shined and no walker. For his age, he presented a suave, well looked […]

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It Depends!

This is a thought for the day for all of us who are seniors… Do you know the reason why baby diapers have brand names such as Luvs and Huggies, while undergarments for old people are called Depends? When babies poop in their pants, people are still gonna Luv’em and […]