Welcome to our collection of Military Jokes. I’m not sure if it’s the best collection of Military Jokes online but it’s a good collection and it’s growing.
An army private went to see the Medical Captain to get a new pair of glasses. The Medical Captain, thinking the man looked rather familiar, went through his record book of record and saw that the private had only been issued a new pair of glasses a month ago. He […]
The Best Collection Of Military Jokes
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Welcome to our collection of Military Jokes. I’m not sure if it’s the best collection of Military Jokes online but it’s a good collection and it’s growing.
Whether it’s the Army, Navy or Air Force, we have some of the best funny military jokes for you, as well as jokes and funny stories about the war.
Although war itself is tragic, there are always amusing incidents that get turned into funny stories. We hope you enjoy this selection.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pixnio.com/transportation-vehicles/tanks/war-military-tank-monochrome-old-weapon-army-vehicle
A US Navy destroyer stopped four Mexicans in a rowing boat who were rowing north towards California. The Captain got on the loud-hailer and shouted out to them, “Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?” One of the Mexicans put down his oar, stood up and shouted back, “We are […]
The US Air Force found they had too many officers and NCOs and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of a thousand dollars for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The […]
During a basic army training class, a sergeant was telling his group how a sub-machine gun sprayed bullets. He drew a circle on a blackboard and announced that it had 260 degrees. “But, sergeant, all circles have 360 degrees”, called out one of the rookies. “Don’t be stupid”, the sergeant […]
The drill sergeant was making his morning announcements to a group of new recruits in an army training camp. “Today, gentlemen”, the drill sergeant said, “I have some good news and some bad news”. There was a pause and a hushed silence as the platoon of new recruits wondered what […]
This is a letter from a U.S. Marines recruit. It was sent home to their parents on the farm from the San Diego U.S. Marine Corps recruiting depot in California. Of course it’s almost certainly not a true story, but who cares, it’s funny and if it makes you laugh, […]
The summer heat had caused the area to experience an infestation of rattlesnakes. An infantry platoon, which had been training in the area, were learning about methods to counter offensive tactics by an enemy. Officers and NCOs were given one magazine of live ammunition each to counter the rattlesnake danger, […]
The sergeant major growled at the young soldier (as sergeant majors are known to do): “I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning”. “Thank you very much, sir”, the young soldier replied.
A Sailor who was on shore leave and a good looking blonde girl, bumped into each other at the bar one evening. They hit it off pretty much right away, and the sailor tried every trick in the book to try and get laid, but without much success. “I usually […]
A sergeant was passing the barracks after lights out, when he heard some voices from inside one of the rooms. He slowly and quietly walked up to the room, slammed open the door, and shouted: Listen, you guys! A few minutes ago, you all heard me say good night. What […]
A U.S. Navy ship pulled into port in Mississippi for a week’s liberty. The first evening, the Captain was more than a little surprised to receive the following letter from the wife of a wealthy plantation owner: “Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter Melinda’s, coming of age party. I […]
A U.S. Marine boarded a crowded train and walked the entire length looking for a seat. THere was only one seat left on the whole train, which was occupied by a poodle sitting next to a well dressed, middle-aged, French woman. The Marine, who was really tired, having just returned […]