A Polish immigrant to the United States went to the Department Of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. Having completed the application form, he then had to take an eyesight test. The optician showed him a card that contained with the letters: ‘C Z W I X N […]
Jokes in category: Medical Jokes
44 posts
A patient in a mental hospital was being reviewed for possible release. When asked what he would do if released, he replied, “I am going to make a slingshot, and then come back here and break every damn window in the place.” Obviously, his release was denied. Six months later, […]
It’s a typical day at the asylum, and the duty psychiatrist is doing his rounds of the wards with a couple of medical students. They look in on one patient and the pychiatrist says to his students, “Sometimes this fellow thinks he’s a temptress in a Bizet opera, but today, […]
A man suffered a horrific accident and his private parts were badly injured. He was rushed into hospital, where the doctor reassured him that modern medicine made it possible for his privates to be rebuilt. Unfortunately, his health insurance policy didn’t cover the expense. It was considered cosmetic surgery. The […]
The following are extracts that have been taken from medical records, written by physicians and from examinations of patients across North America. Sometimes when we are writing notes, it’s easy to write something that reads funny afterwards, but some of these extracts make you wonder about the state of mind […]
A pregnant woman from Vancouver is involved in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. She has been asleep for nearly 6 months, when she suddenly wakes up. The first thing that she sees that she is no longer pregnant, and frantically she asks the doctor about her […]
A sweet old grandmother telephoned Mount Sinai Hospital. She timidly asked, “Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?” The operator said “I’ll be glad to help, my dear. What’s their name and room number?” The grandmother in her weak tremulous voice […]
Today there has been a new announcement from the medical world. They have finally released details of the ingredients in Viagra: 3% Vitamin E 2% Aspirin 2% Ibuprofen 1% Vitamin C 92% Fix-A-Flat Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Viagra_in_Pack.jpg
A young doctor had moved out to a small community, to replace an older doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so that the community could become used to having a new doctor. Well, they reached first house, where a […]
A little old lady is suffering with gas problems. Just lately she finds that she just can’t stop farting. So, she makes an appointment to see the doctor, and says to him, “Doctor I have this terrible problem with gas, I just can’t seem to stop farting. They never smell, […]