A young doctor had moved out to a small community, to replace an older doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so that the community could become used to having a new doctor. Well, they reached first house, where a […]
Jokes in category: Medical Jokes
35 posts
A little old lady is suffering with gas problems. Just lately she finds that she just can’t stop farting. So, she makes an appointment to see the doctor, and says to him, “Doctor I have this terrible problem with gas, I just can’t seem to stop farting. They never smell, […]
Four surgeons were taking a coffee break in between procedures, and were discussing their work, in particular which types of patients were the easiest to operate on. The first surgeon said, “I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered.” The […]
“Oh Doctor, you have to help my husband, he has been acting really strange lately” a farmer’s wife said frantically. She continued, “He thinks he’s a racehorse. He wants to live in a stable. He walks on all fours, and he even eats hay instead of normal food.” The doctor […]
Old Doctor Carver had reached a ripe old age, but he was still practicing medicine, and what’s more, he still made house calls. One afternoon, he was called to the house of old Mr. and Mrs Tuttle. Mrs. Tuttle was in terrible pain. The doctor came out of the bedroom […]
Hospital regulations require that a wheelchair be used for patients when they are being discharged. While I was working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman who was already dressed, and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet. The gentleman insisted that he didn’t need […]
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criteria was, which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. “Well,” said the Director, well prepared for such questions as these. “What we do is fill up a bathtub with water, then we offer […]
An attractive young girl, who was being chaperoned by an ugly old lady, entered the doctor’s office. “We have come for an examination,” said the young girl, when the doctor finished writing up his notes from his previous patient. The doctor looked at them, then said to the young girl, […]
A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby’s first examination. After a few minutes, the doctor arrived, and proceeded to examine the baby. He checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked the woman if the […]
A young man is lying in bed in the hospital after his operation, with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young nurse appears, and explains to him that she is there to sponge his hands and feet. “Nurse”, he mumbles from behind the mask, are my testicles black?” Embarrassed, […]