Murphy went to see the doctor because he had ended up with a bladder infection. As you might imagine a bladder infection can be rather painful and Murphy put off seeing the doctor for as long as possible, but finally the pain became too much to bare and so he […]
The Best Collection Of Medical Jokes
“Doctor, you told me I have a month to live and then you sent me a bill for $1,000! I can’t pay that before the end of the month!” the patient said. “Okay”, the doctor replied, “you have six months to live”. Image used under a Collective Commons License from […]
A Texas billionaire fell seriously ill and was taken into hospital. None of the doctors who examined him were able to figure out what was causing his illness. They had tried all kinds of tests, did several scans, consulted all the sources, but were still unable to determine the cause […]
My Doctor! If you love doctor jokes, here is a collection of funny one-liners about my doctor. Hope you enjoy them as much as we did compiling them and if you can think of any more, please leave us a comment to let us know. Now, let me tell you […]
Murphy went to see the doctor complaining that he was suffering from insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination but could find nothing physically wrong with him. “Listen”, the doctor said, “The best advice I can give you, is that if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you […]
A man went to the dentist to have a tooth extracted because it had decayed and was giving him a lot of pain. The dentist sat the man down in the chair, got him reclined and then pulled out a novocaine syringe to help to numb the area around the […]
My friend is an idiot, he smokes three packs of cigarettes a day. He won’t quit either, his big excuse is, as he said to me, “Why should I quit smoking? Anything could kill me. I could be crossing the street one day and get hit by a bus”. I […]
A psychiatrist visited a mental hospital in California and asked a patient who didn’t seem to apparently have anything wrong with him, “How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness?” He got the following reply from the patient: Well, it all started when I got married […]
I had this long time friend who always seemed to lean slightly to the left all the time. It used to bother me, just looking at him as he would always look like he was leaning, so I suggested he went to see a doctor and have his legs checked […]
The pretty young lady was at the dentists having a tooth extracted. The dentist gave her the usual “This won’t hurt a bit” routine, before bending over her with a drill in his hand. As he started the drill going, with that shrill sound that sets everyone’s teeth on edge, […]
Have I told you about this one time I had to spend a few nights in hospital? It happened a couple of years ago, I got sick and landed up in hospital. There was this one nurse there that that just drove me crazy. She was young and pretty, but […]
A doctor had been examining a woman who was rushed to the Emergency Room. He took her husband aside and said, “I don’t like the looks of your wife at all”. “Me neither docor”, her husband said, “but she’s a great cook and really good with the kids”. Image used […]