While making his medical rounds in a hospital in Dublin, a doctor points out an X-ray to a group of medical students. “As you can see,” the Doctor says, “this patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically arched”. The Doctor says to one of the students, “Murphy, […]
Jokes in category: Medical Jokes
16 posts
Yesterday I went to see the doctor for my annual physical exam, and while I was there he asked me about the level of exercise I had on a regular day. “Well Doctor” I began, “yesterday morning, I waded along the edge of a lake and barely escaped from an […]
Harold feared that his wife Dorothy wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought that if she was going deaf that she might need a hearing aid. He wasn’t quite sure how to approach her, and so he telephoned the family Doctor to discuss the problem with […]
“Doctor, you’ve got to help me – I just can’t stop my hands from shaking!” “Do you drink a lot of coffee?” “Not really – I spill most of it!”
A doctor is making his rounds in a Dublin Hospital
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces.
Medical Jokes – A man goes to the podiatrist with a swollen foot.
Doing rounds, a new nurse couldn’t help overhearing the surgeon yelling, “Typhoid! Tetanus! Measles!” “Why does he keep doing that?” she asked a colleague. “Oh, he likes to call the shots around here.”
My doctor told me “Exercise is good for you.” So, I have worked out this easy daily program I can do anywhere. Monday: Beat around the bush. Jump to conclusions. Climb the walls. Wade through paperwork. Tuesday: Drag my heels. Push my luck. Make mountains out of mole hills. Hit […]
Our local newspaper ran several stories about a study that tied male obesity to a virus. One evening my brother came home exhausted from a long day at work. “Did you read the paper?” he asked. “I’m not going in to work tomorrow. I’m calling in fat.”
A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands. “Doctor,” says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. “Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?” […]
What’s the difference between a neurotic, a psychotic and a psychiatrist? A neurotic is the person who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the person who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is the person who collects the rent.
Giving an elderley man his physical, a doctor noticed several dark, ugly bruises on his shins, so he asked, “Do you play hockey?” “No” said the man. “Do you play soccer?” said the doctor. “No” the man said. “Do you play any other physical sport?” asked the doctor, curious to […]