Jokes in category:  Marriage Jokes

87 posts

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://www.maxpixel.net/Bridal-Cake-Decoration-Wedding-Anniversary-3636759Funny jokes about marriage, getting married, weddings and married life. We have a great collection of the best marriage jokes here for you to enjoy.

We have funny stories about people getting married, with tales of the wedding going wrong and the honeymoon not turning out like they expected.

We also have plenty of jokes about living together and of course that most dreaded of all creatures, the Mother-In-Law!

As a wise old man once said to me (true story), “The secret to a happy marriage is in two little words – Yes Dear!”

I hope you enjoy our collection of funny material about married life.

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Breakfast

A woman asks her husband if he would like some breakfast. “Bacon, eggs, perhaps some toast? Maybe a nice sectioned grapefruit and a cup of fresh coffee?” He declines, “It’s the Viagra,” he says, “it’s really taken the edge off my appetite.” At lunchtime she again asks if he would […]

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Looking To Unwind

A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a relaxing dinner with his wife, they retired to their separate beds. However the man was not yet ready to slumber. He called over to his wife, “My little boopey-boo, I’m lonely.” So, the woman gets […]

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Stupid And Beautiful

A man said to his wife one day, “I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time”. His wife, rather insulted at being called stupid, stopped and thought for a moment. In the silence that ensued, a silence such that you could […]

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Words

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day. “Did you know that on average a woman speaks 30,000 words a day, compared to a man’s 15,000?” His wife replied, “The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men!” […]

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Smart Thinking

It’s not easy for a man to get his own way, especially if his wife likes him to do things her way, but sometimes with a bit of smart thinking, a man can get his way without it costing him a small fortune. This short story is a good example… […]