Jokes in category:  Marriage Jokes

111 posts

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://www.maxpixel.net/Bridal-Cake-Decoration-Wedding-Anniversary-3636759These are funny jokes about marriage, getting married, weddings and married life. We have a great collection of the best marriage jokes here for you to enjoy.

This category also includes a number of jokes and funny stories about love, dating and relationships, which are of course what leads up to marriage and married life, or sometimes brings about it’s downfall.

We have funny stories about people getting married, with tales of the wedding going wrong and the honeymoon not turning out like they expected.

We also have plenty of jokes about living together and of course that most dreaded of all creatures, the Mother-In-Law!

As a wise old man once said to me (true story), “The secret to a happy marriage is in two little words – Yes Dear!”

I hope you enjoy our collection of funny material about married life.

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Potted Geraniums

“I’m sorry sir, but we don’t have any potted geraniums”, the lady at the florists said. She then added helpfully, “could you use African violets?” “No”, replied Martin sadly, “it was the potted geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone for the week”.

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Over Breakfast

Over breakfast one day, a wife asked her husband what he would do if she were to suddenly die. The husband thought for a minute and then replied, “I would most likely die too”. Completely surprised at his answer, the wife asked him, “Why?” The husband replied, “Well, you know […]

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Pour Me A Stiff One

Walking into the bar, Mike said to the bartender, “Pour me a stiff one Charlie, I just had another fight with the little woman.” “Oh yeah?” said Charlie. “And how did this one end?” “When it was over,” Mike replied, “she came to me on her hands and knees.” “Really? […]

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Marriage Counselor

A husband visited a marriage counselor for guidance and said, “When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking”. The counselor listened while the man continued. “Now, after ten years, it’s all […]

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Touching

One night, after the couple had retired for the night, the woman became aware that her husband was touching her in a most unusual manner. He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her back. He then ran his hand over her breasts, touching them […]

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Doctor Johnson

Doctor Johnson had the reputation of helping couples to increase the joy in their sex life. However, he promised only to take a case if he felt that he could help them. The Browns came to see the doctor as they felt that their sex life had become rather mundane […]

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Marital Advice

A lady teacher at the school where I work recently got engaged and as a friend and colleague I offered her some marital advice. “The first ten years are the hardest”, I told her. “How long have you been married?” she asked me. “Ten years” I replied. Image used under […]