Jokes in category:  Marriage Jokes

87 posts

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://www.maxpixel.net/Bridal-Cake-Decoration-Wedding-Anniversary-3636759Funny jokes about marriage, getting married, weddings and married life. We have a great collection of the best marriage jokes here for you to enjoy.

We have funny stories about people getting married, with tales of the wedding going wrong and the honeymoon not turning out like they expected.

We also have plenty of jokes about living together and of course that most dreaded of all creatures, the Mother-In-Law!

As a wise old man once said to me (true story), “The secret to a happy marriage is in two little words – Yes Dear!”

I hope you enjoy our collection of funny material about married life.

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How Did The Wedding Go?

“How did the wedding go?” asked the minister’s wife, after he returned home after performing a wedding ceremony in the chapel. The minister replied, “It went just fine, that is until I got to the part where I asked the bride if she would obey her husband, and she said, […]

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Wife’s 40th Birthday

On her 40th birthday, the wife did a little dance as she walked out of the bedroom, dressed in an old outfit that she had dug out of the back of the closet. “I wore this on my 30th birthday! I guess that means my wardrobe is ten years old”, […]

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In The Doghouse

Hands up if you have ever ended up in the doghouse? Have you ever had one of those days when your life and relationship with your wife just takes a giant leap downhill? Here is an example of just how easy it is to end up in that kind of […]

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Scrimping And Saving

A couple spent years and years scrimping and saving, until one day the husband told his wife the good news. “Honey”, he said, “we have finally saved enough money to buy what we started saving for in 1999”. His wife’s eyes lit up as she realized what that meant. “You […]

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Life Before And After Marriage

Have you ever stopped to think just how marriage changes you and how life after marriage is often so different to how it was before, when you were single. Have a look at these and see how many ring true for you. I think you might be surprised… BEFORE – […]

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Marriage In A Nutshell

I think this short message describes marriage in a nutshell: A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman […]

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The Underwriter

An underwriter was leaving for work one day when his wife asked him, “Sweetheart, you always carry my photograph with you when you’re going to the office, I wondered why?” The underwriter replied, “Well, whenever I hit a problem, no matter how impossible it might seem, I just take a […]

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Early Morning Wake Up Call

Never trust your wife to give you an early morning wake up call after you have had an argument. Richard and Lynnette had been married for a few years and were having some problems at home, the result being that they were giving each other the “silent treatment.” After yet […]

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Mother-In-Law

A man goes over to his friend’s house,, his clothes are ripped and dirty and he is covered in bruises. His friend stares and says to him, “Oh Man, what on earth have you been doing?” The man replies, “I just got back from burying my mother-in-law”. His friend looks […]