Mike called home one afternoon, as he was feeling hungry, and was curious as to what his wife was making for dinner. “Hello?” said a little girl’s voice. “Hi, honey, it’s Daddy,” said Mike. “Is Mommy near the phone?” “No, Daddy. She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Jim.” After […]
Jokes in category: Marriage
51 posts
Ah yes, married life! Where would we be without jokes about married life and the ups and downs of being chained to a spouse.
Well there would be no Mother-in-law jokes for a start, or wedding jokes, and no funny wedding videos.
I hope you enjoy our collection of funny material about married life.
A couple’s happy married life almost went on the rocks, because of old Aunt Emma who was living with them. For seventeen long years, old Aunt Emma lived with them, and she was always crotchety, and always demanding, and she had made their life a living hell. Pretty much, their […]
Terry left work one Friday afternoon, but with it being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the whole weekend partying with the boys, and spending his entire paycheck on booze and who knows what. When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, reeking of alcohol, he was […]
Tom was a loving husband, but today he was in trouble because he had forgotten his wedding anniversary, and his wife was really ticked off at him. She told him in no uncertain terms, “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to […]
Three married men are discussing their lovemaking with their wives from the previous night. The Italian man says, “My wife, I rubbed her all over with fine olive oil, then we make wonderful love. She screamed for five minutes.” The Frenchman says, “I smooth sweet butter on my wife’s body, […]
One day, a woman decided to have her portrait painted. She found an artist, and told him that she wanted to be painted with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach and a gold Rolex watch. “But you are not wearing any of those things,” the artist […]
A guy was invited over for dinner to the home of some old friends of his. His buddy preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The man was impressed, since the couple had been married almost 70 years, and […]
A woman woke up in the middle of the night, to find that her husband was missing from their bed. Listening to the stillness of the house, she thought could hear a muffled sound downstairs. So, she carefully crept downstairs and looked all around, but she could still not find […]
There is a lucky man who has three gorgeous girlfriends, but he is in a dilemna because he does not know which one of the three girlfriends he should marry. So, he decides to give each of the three girlfriends $5,000 to see how each of them spends it. Well, […]
A nice, calm and respectable looking lady went into the pharmacy. She walked right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.” The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?” The lady replied, “I need it to […]