Funny Lawyer Jokes

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This is our collection of Lawyer Jokes, hand picked from hundreds of lawyer jokes to give you just the very best humour about the legal profession.

Lawyers are supposed to be trustworthy servants of the government, but all too often they are crooked and as a result the topic for many legal jokes.

We give you the lawyers, the judge, jury, defence and the prosecution, witnesses and of course we can’t forget the villains.

So, are these the very best lawyer jokes? The truth or not the truth. We kid you not.


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Lawyers And Morals

When you hear lawyers and morals in the same sentence, you might realize that you are in for a bit of a tale. That’s definitely true in this case. One […]

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The Farmer’s Wife

A farmer’s wife was at her lawyer’s, seeking advice about getting a divorce. The lawyer asked her why she wanted to get a divorce, so the farmer’s wife replied, “My […]

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Witness To A Car Accident

A witness to a car accident was in court testifying. The lawyer asked her, “Did you actually see the accident?” The witness replied, “Yes, sir, I sure did”. The lawyer […]

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Overweight Attorney

An overweight attorney in a small town in Kansas was in court as the prosecutor on an a robbery case. As he was in court questioning a witness to the […]

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The Lawyer

The lawyer was in court, defending a man who had been accused of burglary. Trying a creative defense to get his client off the hook, the lawyer said to the […]

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Monthly Bill From The Law Firm

A corporate executive received a monthly bill from the law firm that was handling a big case for his company. The monthly bill included hourly billing for conferences, research, phone […]

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How Much Do You Charge?

A prospective client asked a lawyer, “How much do you charge?” The lawyer replied, “I charge $1,000 for 3 questions”. With a shocked look on his face, the prospective client […]

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I Want To Become A Lawyer

An old man was critically ill and feeling that his death was near, he called his lawyer. “I want to become a lawyer”, the old man asked. “How much does […]

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The Elderly Spinster

The lawyer’s office received a call from an elderly spinster, who told the receptionist that she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will prepared. The receptionist suggested they […]

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The Divorce Court

A woman was in the divorce court and the time came for her to be called up in front of the judge. Having asked her the usual questions, name, address […]

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Assaulted By His Wife

An elderly man was in the courtroom on a case of being assaulted by his wife. He had been explaining at length to the judge and jury, the details of […]

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Telephone Calls To A Law Office

We all know that lawyers are often unpopular., so keeping to that theme, this is a short story about a man who keeps making telephone calls to a law office. […]