A Judge asked the defendant to please stand. “You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chainsaw”, the Judge said to him. From out in the public gallery a man shouted out, “You lying bastard!” “Silence in the court!”, the Judge shouted back to the man, all the […]
Jokes in category: Lawyer Jokes
17 posts
One day, a wealthy art collector who is worth millions gets a visit from his laywer. The lawyer says to him: “I have some good news for you, but I also have some bad news”. The millionaire replies: “I have had one heck of an awful day, just give me […]
A very successful attorney parked his brand new Porsche 911 Turbo in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he was getting out of the car, a truck came speeding down the road, drifted across to the other side and completely tore off the […]
A lawyer was sitting in his office when his secretary announced that he had a new client waiting to see him. The client turned out to be a very attractive young blonde mother. The lawyer called the young woman into his office, and asked her what he could do for […]
A charity has been trying to increase it’s donations from local companies, and they realized that one of the most successful lawyers in the city had never donated anything to them. So they sent one of their representatives round to the lawyer’s rather lavish offices. The representative opened the meeting […]
A trial had been scheduled in a small town, but the court clerk had forgotten to call in a jury panel. Rather than adjourning what he thought was an exceptionally simple case, the judge ordered his bailiff to go through the courthouse and round up enough people to form a […]
A famous lawyer, who had been a public defender for years, suddenly dies. He finds himself standing at the back of an enormous queue, which he realises if outside the gates of Heaven. The queue before him is enormous, it just seems to go on and on. The number of […]
Bob was a successful lawyer but he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his career and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help to find a cure for these headaches. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across an old country doctor who […]
A man walks into a post office one day, and is surprised to see a middle-aged, balding man, standing at the counter, methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes that have hearts all over them. The balding man then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying them all. […]
A California lawyer from Los Angeles went duck hunting in rural Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him […]
