Jokes in category:  Lawyer Jokes

28 posts

Lawyers are supposed to be trustworthy servants of the government, but all too often they are crooked and as a result the topic for many legal jokes.

This is our collection of lawyer jokes, hand picked from hundreds of lawyer jokes to give you just the very best humour about the legal profession.

Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.flickr.com/photos/calinjurylawyer/21459680054

Never Trust A Lawyer

This story is a simple example of why you should never trust a lawyer. A butcher saw a lawyer passing by his shop one day, and asked him, “What would you do if a dog came in and stole your meat?” The lawyer replied, “Well, I would make the owner […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://imgflip.com/memetemplate/147955525/White-Woman-in-office

Investment Counselor

A successful investment counselor decided to go out on her own and set up her own financial counseling company. Since she was shrewd and diligent, the company became very popular, and business kept building up until she realized that she needed an an assistant counselor. So, she put out some […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.lawliberty.org/2018/01/16/jury-nullification-good-or-bad/

Voluntary Manslaughter

A prospective jury in a Dallas District Court were surprised by the definition of voluntary manslaughter that they were given, prior to their being selected for a murder trial. Voluntary Manslaughter is an intentional killing that occurs while the defendant is under the immediate influence of sudden passion, arising from […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pixabay.com/illustrations/judge-court-gavel-administration-4199434/

Judge And Juror

When the court case was about to begin, the Judge asked one of the Jurors “Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case?” The Juror replied, “I don’t want to be away from my job that long, your honor”. The Judge then asked him, […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://www.needpix.com/photo/678578/the-figure-of-the-a-lawyer

New Lawyers

There I was, minding my own business when a female business associate came out of her office with two guys. “Hi, Rob”, she said, “have you met our new lawyers? This is Daniel Abraham, David Greenberg and Michael Hunt”. I was confused, there were only two guys with her, so […]

Disorder In The American Courts: Available from Amazon

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?

Sometimes I wonder, just how do court reporters keep straight faces when witnesses say the most bizarre things. These quotes are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things that people actually said in court. These sayings were taken down, word for word, and published by […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Devil_art_detail,_%22The_devil%27s_playground%22_by_John_Mackie_LCCN2015645379_(cropped).jpg

The Attorney And The Devil

An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the Devil appeared before him. The Devil said to the lawyer: “I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.maxpixel.net/Justice-Lawyers-Legal-Wig-Head-Piece-1231543

A Bunch Of Short Lawyer Jokes

This is a bunch of short lawyer jokes. Hands up who loves lawyers? Hmmm… not many hands in the air there! Lawyers are often portrayed as tricky and devious, often slimy and criminal minded, so it’s no wonder there are a lot of jokes about them. Sorry to disappoint you […]