There I was, minding my own business when a female business associate came out of her office with two guys. “Hi, Rob”, she said, “have you met our new lawyers? This is Daniel Abraham, David Greenberg and Michael Hunt”. I was confused, there were only two guys with her, so […]
Jokes in category: Lawyer Jokes
21 posts
Sometimes I wonder, just how do court reporters keep straight faces when witnesses say the most bizarre things. These quotes are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things that people actually said in court. These sayings were taken down, word for word, and published by […]
An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the Devil appeared before him. The Devil said to the lawyer: “I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand […]
This is a bunch of short lawyer jokes. Hands up who loves lawyers? Hmmm… not many hands in the air there! Lawyers are often portrayed as tricky and devious, often slimy and criminal minded, so it’s no wonder there are a lot of jokes about them. Sorry to disappoint you […]
A Judge asked the defendant to please stand. “You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chainsaw”, the Judge said to him. From out in the public gallery a man shouted out, “You lying bastard!” “Silence in the court!”, the Judge shouted back to the man, all the […]
One day, a wealthy art collector who is worth millions gets a visit from his laywer. The lawyer says to him: “I have some good news for you, but I also have some bad news”. The millionaire replies: “I have had one heck of an awful day, just give me […]
A very successful attorney parked his brand new Porsche 911 Turbo in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he was getting out of the car, a truck came speeding down the road, drifted across to the other side and completely tore off the […]
A lawyer was sitting in his office when his secretary announced that he had a new client waiting to see him. The client turned out to be a very attractive young blonde mother. The lawyer called the young woman into his office, and asked her what he could do for […]
A charity has been trying to increase it’s donations from local companies, and they realized that one of the most successful lawyers in the city had never donated anything to them. So they sent one of their representatives round to the lawyer’s rather lavish offices. The representative opened the meeting […]
A trial had been scheduled in a small town, but the court clerk had forgotten to call in a jury panel. Rather than adjourning what he thought was an exceptionally simple case, the judge ordered his bailiff to go through the courthouse and round up enough people to form a […]
