A barber ran out of his barber shop and down to the nearest street corner where a policeman was standing. “Excues me officer”, he asked, “have you seen a man running by here in the last few minutes?” “No I haven’t”, the policeman replied, “what’s the problem?” “The lousy cheat […]
Jokes in category: Law Enforcement Jokes
22 posts
Helen was returning from a trip to visit her grandmother in Canada. She was stopped by a state trooper in New York for exceeding the speed limit. She was so grateful that he gave her a warning instead of a ticket, that she gave him a small bag of my […]
One day, two deputies in the Sheriff’s Office were sent to a farmhouse to answer an emergency call. When they walked into the farmhouse, they found the nude bodies of a man and a woman in the bedroom. They had been shot to death. When they went to the living […]
The world is full of idiots, or so it would appear. The story goes that police in a town in Pennsylvania interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message “HE’S LYING” was placed in the copier, […]
A State Trooper is in court and being questioned by the Defence Lawyer while on the witness stand. Defence Lawyer: When you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing? State Trooper: Yes your honor. Defence Lawyer: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her […]
A motorist was unknowingly caught speeding by one of the latest automated traffic cameras that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the post a speeding ticket for £40 and a photo of his car that had been taken by the traffic camera. Instead […]
At a recent case in the traffic court, a man who had received an expensive parking ticket, testified that a uniformed policeman had told him that it was ok to park there. The Judge asked the man if he would recognize the officer if he ever saw him again, and […]
A young woman was pulled over for speeding. The New York State Trooper walked up to her car, and flipped open his ticket book. The woman rolled down her car window and said, “I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Troopers Ball”. The police […]
There are various levels of stupid aren’t there. There is stupid, and then there is STUPID! The “stupidest excuse in the world” bonehead award this year, goes to those people who gave Washington D.C. police the following excuses for their illegal parking: “I saw the No Parking signs, but I […]
At the traffic court, the judge asked the motorist: “Tell me, why did you park your car here?” The man replied, “Well your honour, I saw this sign that said fine for parking”.
