Jewish mothers have been stereo-typed over the years as the figurehead that holds a family together, a tower of strength, yet one who will ruthlessly criticise her family, especially if they don’t meet with her strict standards. Have you ever wondered about famous people from the past (or indeed the […]
The Best Collection Of Jewish Jokes
42 posts
When old Abraham died, his will provided $50,000 to pay for an elaborate funeral. After the burial, as the last of the guests departed the cemetery, his wife, Sarah, turned to her oldest friend, Naomi. “Well, I’m sure Abraham would be pleased”, she said. “I’m sure you’re right”, Naomi replied. […]
A Jewish grandmother was giving directions to her grandson who was on his way to visit her with his wife: “You come to the front door of the apartment complex. I am in apartment 12D. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow push button 12D. […]
This is a story about a Jewish Samurai. Once upon a time… Yeah I know, this is going to be a corny story. Would you prefer that I start with “Many moons ago…?” Is that better? Very well, I will… Many moons ago, there was a powerful Emperor who needed […]
A Jewish lawyer was troubled by the way that his son had turned out, so he went to see his Rabbi to consult him about the matter. “I brought him up in the faith. I gave him a very expensive bar mitzvah. It cost me a fortune to educate him. […]
An elderly Jewish taxi driver in New York City was parked waiting for a fare when along staggered a woman who was clearly drunk, but not only that, she was stark naked, shoeless even. The drunk naked woman staggered right up to his taxi, opened the door, more fell than […]
Old Yakov was dying, and he lay on his death bed, breathing what everyone expected to be the last few breaths of his long life. His family had gathered around him, waiting patiently for the end. Through half-closed eyes and a barely audible voice he asked, “Mama… you here?” “Yes, […]
A Jewish mother is walking down the street with her two young sons. A passer by stops her and asks her how old the two boys are. “The doctor is three”, the mother answers, “and the lawyer is two”. Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.pxfuel.com/en/free-photo-ejxfe
Two Jewish men were strolling down the street one day when they happened to walk past a Catholic church. Outside the church was a large sign that said, “Convert to Catholicism and get $100”. One of the Jewish men stopped walking and stared at the sign. His friend turned to […]
Many years ago, a Jewish lady was stranded late one night on Cape Cod in Massachusetts. There was no way that she was going to be able to make it home that night. It was too late to call a cab, but fortunately there was a fashionable resort just across […]
Don’t you just love listening to Jewish mothers bragging about their sons. Miriam was bragging to her next-door neighbor Esther, about her son who was a student at university. “Why, our son is so brilliant, every time we get a letter from him we have to go to the dictionary”, […]
The Jewish people do have a knack of coming up with some wonderful proverbs and other witty sayings. Here are some wonderful Yiddish proverbs: If the rich could hire other people to die for them, the poor could make a wonderful living. The wise man, even when he holds his […]