Murphy was walking home down a country lane when a car pulled up alongside him, stopped and the driver wound his window down. “Could you tell me the way to Balbriggan, please?” asked the driver, who from his accent was obviously a visitor from England. “Certainly sir”, Murphy said. “If […]
The Best Collection Of Irish Jokes
I do love the Irish way of thinking, don’t you? I mean, everything in life seems to have a moral or a purpose and whatever happens… well it happens. Take for example this classic bit of Irish philosophy… In life, there are only two things to worry about, either you […]
Murphy owned a furniture store in Dublin. His business was quite successful and he decided it would be a good idea to expand the line of furniture that he sold in his store. So he decided to take a trip to Paris to see what other items he could find […]
So, Murphy was working at the fish processing plant in County Cork when he had an accident and managed to cut off all ten of his fingers. He went off to the emergency room at the hospital, where the doctor looked at his hands and said, “Righ then Murphy, lets […]
This is a poem about St. Patrick’s Birthday. I have no idea who wrote it or when, but thought you might get a giggle out of it as it’s typically Irish in it’s account of the events that led to St. Patrick’s Birthday being celebrated on the 17th March. We […]
As he was leaving the pub after having a few beers, Patrick spotted his friend Michael down on his hands and knees under the light looking for something on the ground. “What is it you lost Michael?” Patrick asked. “It’s me watch”, Michael answered. “It fell off when I tripped […]
Paddy and Seamus decided to go for a motorcycle ride one sunny but frosty day in early Spring. They had been driving through the countryside for a while when Paddy, who was sitting behind Seamus, called out to him. “Seamus … Seamus … the wind is so cold it’s cutt’n […]
Paddy and Feargus bumped into each other while walking down the road and Paddy asked Feargus if he had seen Murphy recently. “Well to be sure I have and I haven’t”, Feargus replied. “What on earth do you mean by that Feargus”, Paddy asked. “Well”, Feargus replied. “It’s like this […]
Murphy was walking along the High Street in Killarney when he came to a blind woman using a cane who was standing on a street corner. As he was about to walk past her, the blind woman said, “Excuse me, but if it’s not too much trouble, can you see […]
Seamus asked his friend Murphy, “At your ripe old age Murphy, which would you prefer to get, Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s?” Murphy thought about this for a minute, then replied, “Bejesus Seamus, I reckon definitely Parkinson’s!” “Why’s that Murphy?” Seamus asked. Murphy replied, “Well Seamus me old mate, I figure it’s […]
Paddy and his wife Siobhan were visiting The Museum Of Modern Art for the first time. Siobhan turned to an attendant who was standing nearby and asked him, “I suppose this is one of those hideous representations that you call modern art?” “No madam”, the attendant replied, “that exhibit is […]
Fergus O’Malley had been hailed as the most intelligent man in Ireland for three years running. He had won several top television quiz and game shows and it was suggested by the Irish Mensa board that he should enter the English Mastermind Championships. Well, Fergus applied to be a contestant […]