A young man named Murphy sent in a job application to apply for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job, and both applicants, having the same qualifications, were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of […]
Jokes in category: Irish Jokes
58 posts
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were without tickets for the opening ceremonies of the Olympic Games, but hoped to be able to talk their way in at the gate. Security was very tight, however, and each of their attempts was met with a stern refusal. While wandering around […]
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath, and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says to the priest, “Father, have you been drinking?” “Just water,” […]
An Irishman is busy at work in the field digging up potatoes. Idly, an American tourist watched the Irishman dig and turn over the soil, time after time. Eventually, curiosity got the better of him, and he called over to the Irishman: “Hey, buddy, what’s that you’re doing?” “I’m digging […]
A couple of Irish labourers were working on a building site when the phone rings. Patrick goes off to the site office to answer the phone. He returns a few minutes later and says, “The boss has been on the phone. He says they are sending down a thousand bricks […]
An Irish woman of an advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice about reviving her husband’s libido. “Have you thought about trying Viagra?” the doctor asked her. “Not a chance”, she said to the doctor, “He won’t even take an aspirin.” “That’s not a problem”, replied the doctor. […]
A man staggers up to the only other person in an Irish Pub and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why of course”, comes the reply. The first man then asks: “Where are you from?” “I’m from Ireland”, replies the second man. The first man responds: “Well blow […]
A drunken Irishman stumbles into the front door of a bar in Dublin and orders a Jameson’s whisky in a slurred voice. Knowing that this man, let’s call him Murphy, gets really obnoxious when he is drunk, the bartender says, “No way, buddy, you are way too drunk for me […]
Having lived in the remote countryside of Ireland all his life, Murphy decided that the time had come to visit the fair city of Dublin. While there he marvelled at the towering buildings, the crowds of people, and the fancy goods that were to be found in the many shops […]
After dinner, Patrick raises his glass and toasts his girlfriend with the words “May you be in Heaven a half-hour before the devil knows you’re dead!” “What’s that mean?”. she asks him. “That is an authentic Irish toast” replies Patrick. “Oh. In that case”, she says, “Here’s to bread, eggs […]