Murphy and Paddy were sitting at a pub, drinking Guinness and watching the brothel across the street. They watched as a Baptist minister walked into the brothel. Murphy turned to Patrick and said, “Aye, ’tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin’ bad.” A few minutes later, […]
Jokes in category: Irish Jokes
110 posts
We have over 100 of the funniest Irish jokes online as well as funny Irish short stories are right here on The Laughline and we are adding more every week.
We have jokes about your favourite Irishmen Mick and Paddy, stories about Leprechauns, and of course lots of stories about beer, Guinness, whisky and getting drunk.
Don’t miss our tribute to St. Patrick’s Day with a collection of limericks and poems.
Everyone loves a good Irish joke, so pour yourself a Guinness, have a laugh on us, and please share the jokes if you enjoy them.
A number of years ago the Dunne family lived in a small cottage up in the hills above Killarney in Ireland. There was Seamus and Isobel Dunne and their family of six boys. They lived a happy but isolated existence, being up in the hills which was fairly remote from […]
Paddy was walking through the customs area at the airport, carrying a large bottle. “What have you there?” said a suspicious customs officer. “T’is Lourdes holy water. I am bringing it home with me”, said Paddy. The officer took the bottle, opened it and tried some. “Why it’s Irish whiskey”, […]
Two Irishmen were walking along a street in London, browsing in all the shop windows that they passed. Paddy looked in one of the shop windows and saw a sign that caught his eye. The sign read, “Suits @ £5.00 each, Shirts @ £2.00 each, trousers @ £2.50 per pair”. […]
Murphy went to the doctor complaining that he had a sore hip and it was making it hard for him to walk. After the doctor gave him a complete examination, he told Murphy that he would need a complete hip replacement. When the surgery was scheduled and Murphy was being […]
Paddy and Joseph were hitchhiking one day, but not having a lot of success in thumbing a lift. “I think it might be best if we split up”, said Paddy. “We are not having much luck hitchiking, we might find it easier to get a lift if there is only […]
Two Irishmen, Murphy and Seamus were discussing life in general over drinks one night in a Dublin pub. The subject eventually got to old age, how long family members lived to, and what killed them off. “My grandfather lived to be 96,” says Murphy. “Ninety-six? That’s a fair old age. […]
Before getting on board a bus, an Irishman asked the driver, “What is the fare to the train station?” “Sixty cents,” said the driver. The Irishman got back off the bus, then raced alongside it until the next stop. As the bus driver opened the door, the Irishman poked his […]
A Chinese man gets a job as a Garbage Collector in Southern Ireland. He turns up at a house in a rough area on the north side of Cork and knocks on the door. The door opens, and there is a man wearing a tight tee shirt, with crew-cut hair […]
A young Irish lad was returning from the local market with the crate of chickens tht his father had entrusted to him. All of a sudden he tripped, the box went flying, it broke open and chickens scurried off in different directions. Determined to catch them all, the boy walked […]
