This is a poem about St. Patrick’s Birthday. I have no idea who wrote it or when, but thought you might get a giggle out of it as it’s typically Irish in it’s account of the events that led to St. Patrick’s Birthday being celebrated on the 17th March. We […]
The Best Collection Of Irish Jokes
As he was leaving the pub after having a few beers, Patrick spotted his friend Michael down on his hands and knees under the light looking for something on the ground. “What is it you lost Michael?” Patrick asked. “It’s me watch”, Michael answered. “It fell off when I tripped […]
Paddy and Seamus decided to go for a motorcycle ride one sunny but frosty day in early Spring. They had been driving through the countryside for a while when Paddy, who was sitting behind Seamus, called out to him. “Seamus … Seamus … the wind is so cold it’s cutt’n […]
Paddy and Feargus bumped into each other while walking down the road and Paddy asked Feargus if he had seen Murphy recently. “Well to be sure I have and I haven’t”, Feargus replied. “What on earth do you mean by that Feargus”, Paddy asked. “Well”, Feargus replied. “It’s like this […]
Murphy was walking along the High Street in Killarney when he came to a blind woman using a cane who was standing on a street corner. As he was about to walk past her, the blind woman said, “Excuse me, but if it’s not too much trouble, can you see […]
Seamus asked his friend Murphy, “At your ripe old age Murphy, which would you prefer to get, Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s?” Murphy thought about this for a minute, then replied, “Bejesus Seamus, I reckon definitely Parkinson’s!” “Why’s that Murphy?” Seamus asked. Murphy replied, “Well Seamus me old mate, I figure it’s […]
Paddy and his wife Siobhan were visiting The Museum Of Modern Art for the first time. Siobhan turned to an attendant who was standing nearby and asked him, “I suppose this is one of those hideous representations that you call modern art?” “No madam”, the attendant replied, “that exhibit is […]
Fergus O’Malley had been hailed as the most intelligent man in Ireland for three years running. He had won several top television quiz and game shows and it was suggested by the Irish Mensa board that he should enter the English Mastermind Championships. Well, Fergus applied to be a contestant […]
A man was really frustrated with the poor service that he was getting on his rail journeys, so he wrote a letter of complaint to the Irish Railway Company. Gentlemen, I have been riding your trains daily for the last two years, and the service on your line seems to […]
Paddy found out that his parents had been in a minor car accident, so he called his father to check that they were both ok. His father answered the phone and Paddy asked him what had happened. “I was driving and fell asleep at the wheel”, his father said, obviously […]
Murphy went to see the doctor and told him that he had been feeling ill. The doctor examined him, shook his head and replied “I’m sorry to tell you Murphy, but you have got the disease known as Yellow 24”. “What’s that?” asked Murphy. “It means”, the doctor said, “that […]
Murphy went on a two month business trip that was to take him all over Europe, so he left his cat for safe keeping with his brother, Seamus. Three days before he returned, Murphy called his brother to check how things were doing back home. The first thing that Murphy […]