Seamus was thinking of buying a coffee maker but was concerned it might be too complicated to operate. The salesman assured him it was easy to use. “You simply put in the coffee and filter, fill the reservoir with water, slide the switch to auto and go to bed. When […]
The Best Collection Of Irish Jokes
Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat, because he had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking place. Everywhere he went there was either double yellow lines at the side of the road, or where you could park those spaces were all taken. Looking up to heaven […]
Maggie Murphy was complaining about her husband, Paddy, spending all his time at the pub, so one night he took her along. “What’ll ya have?” he asked. “Oh, I don’t know. The same as you I suppose,” she replied. So Paddy ordered a couple of Jameson’s and threw his down […]
Two Englishmen are walking through the woods with a large Salmon under each arm when they met two Irishmen, Michael and Donald. “Hey there’s some wonderful salmon, where did you get them?” says Michael. “Don’t tell anyone,” replied the Englishmen, “but we poached them out of the river.” “How did […]
The American owner of an Irish bar in New York flew across the Atlantic to Ireland on business. As he walked down the stairs from the plane onto the runway at Dublin Airport, he noticed a small Irishman standing beside a long table with an assortment of Human Skulls. “What […]
The Irishman was walking through a field when he saw a man drinking water from a pool, using his hand as a scoop. The Irishman shouted to him “Na ol an t-uisce, ta lan de chac bo” (Don’t drink the water, it’s full of cowshit.) The man shouted back “I’m […]
So Paddy went for a job on this new building site in town. The foreman asked him the important questions that are naturally important for a labourer working on a building site. The first question the foreman asked was, “Can you brew tea?” Without hesitation, Paddy replied, “Sure, yes I […]
A famous faith healer was coming to Ireland and the news had spread like wildfire round Dublin as he was booked to perform there for an evening. It was announced that at the Point Theatre on Saturday there would be a very special event. It would be the only appearance […]
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, “Do you want to go to heaven?” The man said, “I do father.” The priest said, “Then stand over there against the wall.” Then the priest asked the second man, “Do you want to […]