Did you hear the story about when Paddy broke his leg and his mate Michael went round to see him? He found Paddy sitting on the couch with his leg in a cast, up to the thigh. Michael asked him, “How are you doing Paddy?” Paddy replied, “Do us a […]
The Best Collection Of Irish Jokes
An Irish farmer had a mule whose ears were so long, that every time he put him into the stable, the mule grazed his ears on the top of the doorway. So the farmer decided to knock six inches off the wall over the doorway. “Why don’t you take away […]
It was the height of summer in the city of Dublin and everyone was enjoying a summer fair. That is to say, except at the Dublin courthouse, where it was business as usual. In the dock stood Murphy, a real down and out drunk, with a nose as red as […]
Two old Irishmen were in their local pub one night and had both downed quite a few pints of Guinness. It was pretty obvious to look at the pair of them that they were both the worse for wear, sloshed, inebreiated (try saying that when you are drunk, let alone […]
Murphy’s wife purchased a new line of expensive cosmetics that she saw advertised on television and which guaranteed to make her look years younger. After spending a long time sitting in front of the mirror applying her “miracle” cosmetic products, she asked Murphy, “Darling, honestly, what age would you say […]
The owner of some commercial properties in Dublin had three shops available for rent. The three shops were all in a row on the same street. He placed an advertisement in the local paper and the very next day, prospective clients who wanted to rent the properties turned up to […]
Murphy had an interview for a job at a local chemical factory. The department manager asked him, “Have you worked with chemicals before?” “Yes sure”, Murphy replied. The manager then asked him, “Can you tell me what nitrate is?” Murphy replied “Well I’m hoping its going to be time and […]
There was an old priest from a church in Cork in the south of Ireland who enjoyed a drink of liquor now and then, but his real passion was peach brandy. Feargus, who had been a member of his congregation for many years, would give the priest a bottle of […]
Paddy and Murphy were working on a construction site that was a few miles away from home and they were staying in a hotel. They got up in the morning and Paddy went in the bathroom to take a shower before going down to breakfast. Murphy shouted out to him, […]
Seamus and Patrick are walking through the woods when they came across this big deep hole in the ground. Now this didn’t look like any ordinary hole in the ground. It was really big and it also looked like it was really really deep as well. “Wow that hole looks […]