Murphy and Patrick, two Irish labourers, wandering aimlessly across their work site, were asked by the foreman what they were doing. “We’re carrying these bricks to the other end of the site.” They told him. “What bricks?” He asked them “Will you look at that” says Murphy to Patrick. “We’ve […]
Jokes in category: Irish Jokes
87 posts
The funniest Irish jokes online as well as funny Irish short stories are right here on The Laughline, at the last count over 80 Irish jokes and we are adding more every week.
We have jokes about your favourite Irishmen Mick and Paddy, stories about Leprechauns, and of course lots of stories about beer, Guinness, whisky and getting drunk.
Don’t miss our tribute to St. Patrick’s Day with a collection of limericks and poems.
Everyone loves a good Irish joke, so pour yourself a Guinness and have a laugh on us.
A terrific explosion occurs in a gunpowder factory in Ireland. Once all the mess has been cleared up, and inquiry begins into what can only be described as the biggest disaster the area has ever seen. One of the few survivors is pulled up in front of the board of […]
Jeb is a farmer from Texas, where of course “everything is bigger”, and he is on a visit to Ireland. Paddy is given the task of showing Jeb around, and upon learning that Jeb is a farmer, Paddy proudly takes him out to the country to show him his farm. […]
Patrick, an elderly businessman buys a very large house in Ireland, and the house is situated near the Cliffs Of Mohr in County Clare, overlooking the sea. One evening, Patrick is out for his usual walk before going to bed. The evening is a very blustery one. He ventures a […]
Michael from Dublin appeared on Irish television on “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire”. Towards the end of the program he had already won €500,000. “You have done very well so far”, said the show’s presenter, “but for a million Euros you have only got one life line left – […]
It is a little known history fact, but a pair of Irish twins sailed with the explorer Sir Walter Raleigh. The Quinn twins from Dublin were almost identical, except that Patrick had one huge eye and one normal one, while Michael had one huge ear and one normal one. They […]
One fine summer day, Paddy was found dead in his back yard. As the weather was a bit on the warm side, the wake was held down to only two days, so his mortal remains wouldn’t take a bad turn. At last his friends laid him in the coffin, nailed […]
Murphy walked into a bar and ordered a Martini, followed by another Martini. After each Martini, Murphy would remove the olives and place them in a jar. He kept this up for over an hour, by which time he was rather sozzled as you might imagine, and Patrick, the bartender […]
Murphy didn’t have long to live, and his four children were gathered around his deathbed. As the eighty-year-old Irishman seemed to doze off in a blissful sleep, the children started to discuss the plans for his funeral. One of his children wanted to spend a thousand Euros for a coffin. […]
Miss O’Leary, a lovely little old Irish spinster from Cork, recently returned to the small village where she had lived most of her long life. While she had been away, the old priest who used to serve at the Catholic church in the village had retired, and been replaced by […]
