We have over 100 of the funniest Irish jokes online as well as funny Irish short stories are right here on The Laughline and we are adding more every week.
An Irishman went for a job as a labourer on a building site. The foreman asked him, “Can you brew tea?” The Irishman replied, “Yes, I can brew tea”. “Good”, the foreman said. “Can you drive a fork lift?” The Irishman looked at him and said, “Just how bloody big […]
Jokes in category: Irish Jokes
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We have over 100 of the funniest Irish jokes online as well as funny Irish short stories are right here on The Laughline and we are adding more every week.
We have jokes about your favourite Irishmen Mick and Paddy, stories about Leprechauns, and of course lots of stories about beer, Guinness, whisky and getting drunk.
Don’t miss our tribute to St. Patrick’s Day with a collection of limericks and poems.
Everyone loves a good Irish joke, so pour yourself a Guinness, have a laugh on us, and please share the jokes if you enjoy them.
Patrick and Seamus, two Irish friends, were talking over a drink when Seamus asked, “Have ye seen Murphy lately, Patrick?” Patrick said, “Well, I have and I haven’t”. Seamus looked rather puzzled and asked, “Shure, and what d’ye mean by that?” Patrick said, “It’s like this, you see. I saw […]
Paddy’s lawn mower broke down and wouldn’t work, so his wife, Siobhan, kept hinting to him that he should get it fixed as the grass on their lawn was starting to get really long. Somehow though, Paddy always had something else to take care of first, his truck, the car, […]
Seamus went to Sunday Mass one day and the priest almost fainted when he saw him, because Seamus had never been seen in church in all of his adult life. After the Sunday Mass had ended, the priest approached Seamus and said, “Seamus, I am so pleased you decided to […]
It was the day of Murphy’s wife’s funeral and together with his family and friends he was at his wife’s graveside for the burial. The funeral service had barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, which was followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, then accompanied by […]
Father O’Reilly had been preaching at his church in Ireland for so long, that he decided to take a vacation. He was curious as to what everyday life was like in the USA, so he decided that now was a good time to visit and see for himself, before he […]
The foreman at the Waterford Crystal factory in Southern Ireland inspected the shipment of crystal vases that was about to leave the factory. He went up to Murphy, who was the new packer. He put his arm around Murphy’s shoulder and said, “Well, I see you did what I asked, […]
The foreman on the contruction site ordered Paddy to dig a hole eight feet deep, so Paddy set about digging the hole. After the job was completed, the foreman returned and explained that he had made an error and the hole wouldn’t be needed after all. “Fill her up again, […]
Paddy took his goldfish in it’s bowl and went to see the vet. “I think my goldfish has got epilepsy” he told the vet. The vet took a look at the goldfish. He couldn’t see anything wrong with it and said to Paddy, “It seems calm enough to me”. Paddy […]
Murphy was getting more than a little peeved with the frequent visits they were getting from his wife’s two nephews, who were both Jesuit priests. She was in the habit of wining and dining them royally and on one occasion she forced Murphy to kill the two finest chickens in […]
