Two Irishmen, Patrick and Michael, had been shipwrecked, and now they were adrift on a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean, following a dramatic escape from a burning ship. While rummaging through the lifeboat’s provisions to see what he could find, Patrick stumbled across a dirty old lamp. Secretly […]
Jokes in category: Irish Jokes
61 posts
“Oh my God, bejesus! What on earth happened to you?” the bartender asked Kelly, as he hobbled into his local pub on a crutch, with one arm in a cast. “I got in a tiff with O’Riley,” Kelly sheepishly responded. “O’Riley? He’s just a wee fellow,” the barkeep said, surprised. […]
Flanagan and Murphy are two Irishmen who had signed up as mercenaries to fight for the rebels in a South American republic. Now, captured by government troops, they face a firing squad. “Is there any last word you would like to say before you are shot?”, the captain of the […]
Pete Monaghan, an Irishman who had been living in South Carolina for some years, sadly passed away. Mrs Monaghan went to the local newspaper office to pay for her husband’s obituary. The kind man at the desk told her that it was a dollar a word for the obituary, and […]
Murphy and Paddy were walking in the woods, when they came across a sign that said, “Tree Fellers Wanted”. Murphy said, “Ye know Paddy, it’s a shame Michael isn’t here. We could have gotten the job”.
Uncle Seamus who was a seafarer all his life, and a while before he passed away, he made his nephews Mick and Paddy promise to bury him at sea. Sure enough, the time came when Uncle Seamus passed away, and Mick and Paddy decided that they ought to fulfill the […]
The Maguire twins had only been fishing for two hours, and already the boat was full to overflowing with mackerel. They had never known anything it before. “Begod, we have struck a rare spot here”, said Mick, dreaming of his wife grilling some of those freshly caught mackerel for his […]
An American man and his wife were traveling around Ireland by car, when one of the tyres developed a slow puncture. He managed to find a small local garage, where he asked the owner if they had an air line. The garage owner replied, “An air line? You must be […]
A policeman caught Murphy driving his taxi down the road, well over the speed limit. Once he had managed to overtake him, which was no mean feat on the winding country roads of Ireland, the policeman stopped and got out of his car. The policeman asked him, “You were doing […]
An Irishman arrived at JFK Airport in New York, and was seen wandering about the terminal, obviously very distressed and with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him what was wrong, and if he was already homesick. “No,” replied the Irishman. “I’ve lost all me luggage!” “How […]