One day, Murphy and Paddy went to a restaurant for dinner and ordered two steaks. As soon as the waiter brought out steaks, Murphy quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself and put it n his plate replied Paddy wasn’t happy about that and said, “When are you going […]
Jokes in category: Irish Jokes
113 posts
We have over 100 of the funniest Irish jokes online as well as funny Irish short stories are right here on The Laughline and we are adding more every week.
We have jokes about your favourite Irishmen Mick and Paddy, stories about Leprechauns, and of course lots of stories about beer, Guinness, whisky and getting drunk.
Don’t miss our tribute to St. Patrick’s Day with a collection of limericks and poems.
Everyone loves a good Irish joke, so pour yourself a Guinness, have a laugh on us, and please share the jokes if you enjoy them.
England were playing the Republic of Ireland at Wembley Stadium. It was a big football game, especially for the Clancy brothers, who desperately wanted to see Ireland play, but hadn’t been able to tickets in advance. The two brothers went up to the ticket office, where Michael asked, “How much […]
A group of Americans were touring Ireland, one of the locations being Blarney Castle, the site of the famous Blarney Stone. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, she was constantly complaining. Nothing was ever right for her. The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is […]
Did you hear about Paddy’s accident? Paddy was working at the fish plant in Cork, when he accidentally cut off all 10 of his fingers. He had someone there bandage his hands up, then made his way to the emergency room in Cork’s hospital. The doctor took a look at […]
It was a record breaking hot sunny day in Ireland and Murphy decided to go sunbathing naked at the beach in Galway. For the sake of civility and to keep his private parts from getting sunburned, he placed his hat over them while he lay on his back, soaking up […]
Murphy goes into the confessional box one Sunday and has the surprise of his life. One wall of the confessional is a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest Cuban cigars. Then the priest, Father McCarthy comes in. “Father, […]
Murphy visits a creepy old castle in County Kerry and decides to go on a guided tour. The guide was dressed up in period costume from the 1600’s, really looked the part and certainly knew a lot about the old castle, making it’s history come to life. Several hours later […]
One day, a beautiful young English woman arrived at Murphy’s house in a stretch limousine and asked if he would paint her in the nude. Now Murphy, who lived in a small town in County Clare in Ireland, while not a brilliant scholar, was a hugely gifted portrait artist. Over […]
Sean purchased a new car, but the very next day he went back to the dealer from whom he bought it. “I believe you gave me a guarantee with my car”, he said. “That’s right, sir,” said Murphy, the salesman. “During the warranty period we will replace anything that breaks”. […]
As soon as she had finished parochial school in Ireland, Siobhan who was a bright young girl, made her way to New York, where before long she became a successful performer in show business. Eventually she returned to her home town for a visit and on a Saturday night went […]
