Two drunk Irishmen are walking down a set of railway tracks. Murphy calls out to his friend Patrick: “Jesus Christ Pat, I’ve never seen so many stairs in me life”. Patrick answers: “F*ck that Murphy, it’s this low railing that’s killing me”. Image used under a Collective Commons License from: […]
Jokes in category: Irish Jokes
71 posts
The best and funniest Irish jokes and funny Irish short stories are right here on The Laughline, at the last count 69 Irish jokes and counting.
We have jokes about your favourite Irishmen Mick and Paddy, stories about Leprechauns, and of course lots of stories about beer, Guinness, whisky and getting drunk.
Don’t miss our tribute to St. Patrick’s Day with a collection of limericks and poems.
Everyone loves a good Irish joke, so pour yourself a Guinness and have a laugh on us.
A European tourist is has been travelling through Ireland, but he gets lost and decides to stop in an Irish village to ask for directions. He sees two old men who are sitting outside the village pub, enjoying a pint of Guinness. “Parlez-vous Francais, the tourist asks them. The old […]
A man walks into a bar in New York and sees an Irish friend sitting at a table, drinking all by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, “Murphy, you look terrible, what on earth is the problem?” “My mother died in June,” Murphy said, “and left me $10,000”. “Gee, that’s […]
A company had advertised a vacancy and the boss was getting ready to interview the prospective candidated for the position. Murphy decides to apply for the job, and reports to the office for his interview. The boss, however, was determined not to hire an Irishman, so he decides to set […]
Paddy is walking along the beach one day, when he sees an old bottle laying in the sand. He picks up the bottle and starts to brush it off, and with a huge puff of smoke, out pops a genie. The genie says to Paddy, “Since you have freed me […]
Paddy and Murphy drive their pickup truck into a lumberyard. Paddy walks in the office and says to the man on the desk, “We need some four by twos.” The clerk said, “You mean two by fours, don’t you?” Paddy said, “Just a minute, I’ll go check”, and he went […]
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman applied for a job as chauffeur to drive the Rolls Royce for a wealthy lady. “I’m such a good driver”, said The Englishman, “I can go within six inches of a cliff edge without driving over.” “I can go within an inch of […]
A doctor in Dublin wanted to take a day off work and go fishing. So, he approached his assistant. “Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don’t want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients”. “Yes, sir!” […]
Three lads, all a sandwich short of a picnic, got to talking amongst themselves one day in their local pub. One lad was from England, one was from Scotland, and one was from Ireland. They were talking about their home lives and their problems, and all three came to the […]
It was a quiet day in an English pub, and a few local lads felt like starting a bit of trouble. Well just then Paddy, who was an Irishman who had moved to the area a couple of years ago, had the misfortune to walk in and order a pint […]