Murphy went to the doctor complaining that he had a sore hip and it was making it hard for him to walk. After the doctor gave him a complete examination, he told Murphy that he would need a complete hip replacement. When the surgery was scheduled and Murphy was being […]
Jokes in category: Irish Jokes
96 posts
The funniest Irish jokes online as well as funny Irish short stories are right here on The Laughline, at the last count over 80 Irish jokes and we are adding more every week.
We have jokes about your favourite Irishmen Mick and Paddy, stories about Leprechauns, and of course lots of stories about beer, Guinness, whisky and getting drunk.
Don’t miss our tribute to St. Patrick’s Day with a collection of limericks and poems.
Everyone loves a good Irish joke, so pour yourself a Guinness and have a laugh on us.
Paddy and Joseph were hitchhiking one day, but not having a lot of success in thumbing a lift. “I think it might be best if we split up”, said Paddy. “We are not having much luck hitchiking, we might find it easier to get a lift if there is only […]
Two Irishmen, Murphy and Seamus were discussing life in general over drinks one night in a Dublin pub. The subject eventually got to old age, how long family members lived to, and what killed them off. “My grandfather lived to be 96,” says Murphy. “Ninety-six? That’s a fair old age. […]
Before getting on board a bus, an Irishman asked the driver, “What is the fare to the train station?” “Sixty cents,” said the driver. The Irishman got back off the bus, then raced alongside it until the next stop. As the bus driver opened the door, the Irishman poked his […]
A Chinese man gets a job as a Garbage Collector in Southern Ireland. He turns up at a house in a rough area on the north side of Cork and knocks on the door. The door opens, and there is a man wearing a tight tee shirt, with crew-cut hair […]
A young Irish lad was returning from the local market with the crate of chickens tht his father had entrusted to him. All of a sudden he tripped, the box went flying, it broke open and chickens scurried off in different directions. Determined to catch them all, the boy walked […]
This is the scene one day in an Irish courthouse, during a murder case. The judge says to a double-homicide defendant, “Sean O’Flaherty, you are charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.” Suddenly, a voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, “You bastard!” The judge, […]
Murphy and his wife were woken up at 3am by a loud pounding on the front door of their cottage. So, Murphy gets up out of bed and goes to the front door. When he opens it, standing there is a drunken stranger, who is standing in the pouring rain, […]
A Dubliner went to live in Cork but unfortunately he died. Two Corkmen went around from house to house collecting money for the deceased Dubliner so that he could be given a decent funeral. “Excuse me, Sir”, they asked one old Corkman, “would you contribute a Euro to bury a […]
Murphy and Patrick, two Irish labourers, wandering aimlessly across their work site, were asked by the foreman what they were doing. “We’re carrying these bricks to the other end of the site.” They told him. “What bricks?” He asked them “Will you look at that” says Murphy to Patrick. “We’ve […]
