A couple of Irish labourers were working on a building site when the phone rings. Patrick goes off to the site office to answer the phone. He returns a few minutes later and says, “The boss has been on the phone. He says they are sending down a thousand bricks […]
Jokes in category: Irish Jokes
43 posts
An Irish woman of an advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice about reviving her husband’s libido. “Have you thought about trying Viagra?” the doctor asked her. “Not a chance”, she said to the doctor, “He won’t even take an aspirin.” “That’s not a problem”, replied the doctor. […]
A man staggers up to the only other person in an Irish Pub and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why of course”, comes the reply. The first man then asks: “Where are you from?” “I’m from Ireland”, replies the second man. The first man responds: “Well blow […]
A drunken Irishman stumbles into the front door of a bar in Dublin and orders a Jameson’s whisky in a slurred voice. Knowing that this man, let’s call him Murphy, gets really obnoxious when he is drunk, the bartender says, “No way, buddy, you are way too drunk for me […]
Having lived in the remote countryside of Ireland all his life, Murphy decided that the time had come to visit the fair city of Dublin. While there he marvelled at the towering buildings, the crowds of people, and the fancy goods that were to be found in the many shops […]
After dinner, Patrick raises his glass and toasts his girlfriend with the words “May you be in Heaven a half-hour before the devil knows you’re dead!” “What’s that mean?”. she asks him. “That is an authentic Irish toast” replies Patrick. “Oh. In that case”, she says, “Here’s to bread, eggs […]
Patrick saw his friend Murphy sitting in a pub and looking really distressed, so he went over and asked him what the problem was. Murphy replied, “My wife has gone and enrolled me in a bridge club.” “That doesn’t sound so bad to me” said Patrick, “so why are you […]
Mrs. Sullivan returned home to to Ireland from a vacation to France where she had taken a class in French Cooking. She tells her husband Seamus that she is going to prepare him a special meal for St. Valentine’s Day, and that he is to go down to Murphy’s Market […]
As happens once in a while, and twice in a while if it’s a joke, the CIA loses track of one of its operatives, and so calls in one of their top spy hunters to try and locate him. The head of the CIA gives the spy hunter some information […]
Paddy gets mugged one night. He was walking home from his local pub when all of a sudden from out of nowhere a thief jumped on him. The thief and Paddy began to wrestle. Over and over they rolled on the ground, and Paddy put up one heck of a […]