One day, a beautiful young English woman arrived at Murphy’s house in a stretch limousine and asked if he would paint her in the nude. Now Murphy, who lived in a small town in County Clare in Ireland, while not a brilliant scholar, was a hugely gifted portrait artist. Over […]
Jokes in category: Irish Jokes
107 posts
We have over 100 of the funniest Irish jokes online as well as funny Irish short stories are right here on The Laughline and we are adding more every week.
We have jokes about your favourite Irishmen Mick and Paddy, stories about Leprechauns, and of course lots of stories about beer, Guinness, whisky and getting drunk.
Don’t miss our tribute to St. Patrick’s Day with a collection of limericks and poems.
Everyone loves a good Irish joke, so pour yourself a Guinness, have a laugh on us, and please share the jokes if you enjoy them.
Sean purchased a new car, but the very next day he went back to the dealer from whom he bought it. “I believe you gave me a guarantee with my car”, he said. “That’s right, sir,” said Murphy, the salesman. “During the warranty period we will replace anything that breaks”. […]
As soon as she had finished parochial school in Ireland, Siobhan who was a bright young girl, made her way to New York, where before long she became a successful performer in show business. Eventually she returned to her home town for a visit and on a Saturday night went […]
Paddy picks something up from off the floor and says to Mick, “Hey Michael, I found this pen, is it yours?” Mick replies, I don’t know Paddy, give it here so I can take a look”. He then tries it then he says, “Yes it is, thanks Paddy”. Paddy asks […]
A man was on a walking holiday in Ireland. While he was walking through the wonderful Irish countryside one fresh Spring day, he became rather thirsty, so he decided to stop at a little cottage and ask for something to drink. The lady of the house invited him in, gave […]
It was the middle of a hot summer and the air conditioning had broken down at a Catholic Church in Ireland. So they hired Seamus O’Sullivan to crawl around in the air ducts and figure out what was wrong. As Seamus peeked down through one of the old vents in […]
The Irish Intelligence Agency lost track of one of its secret agents, so they call in their top spy hunter to try and locate him. The head of the Agency says to the spy hunter, “All I can tell you is that his name is Murphy and that he is […]
Murphy and Paddy were sitting at a pub, drinking Guinness and watching the brothel across the street. They watched as a Baptist minister walked into the brothel. Murphy turned to Patrick and said, “Aye, ’tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin’ bad.” A few minutes later, […]
A number of years ago the Dunne family lived in a small cottage up in the hills above Killarney in Ireland. There was Seamus and Isobel Dunne and their family of six boys. They lived a happy but isolated existence, being up in the hills which was fairly remote from […]
Paddy was walking through the customs area at the airport, carrying a large bottle. “What have you there?” said a suspicious customs officer. “T’is Lourdes holy water. I am bringing it home with me”, said Paddy. The officer took the bottle, opened it and tried some. “Why it’s Irish whiskey”, […]
