A middle aged man was really enjoying a drive down a country road in Indiana when he inadvertently drove through a police speed trap. He had only purchased his Mercedes convertible a few days beforehand, and as it was a perfect day for driving in the country, with no cars […]
Jokes in category: General Jokes
32 posts
It’s the middle of the night and this man is in bed with his wife when he hears a loud knocking on the front door. He rolls over and looks at his clock. To his surprise, it’s half past three in the morning! Sod that for a game of soldiers, […]
Being really frustrated with the mess that was made daily in the men’s restroom, the boss placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it: “Think!” The next day, when he went to the men’s restroom, he looked at the sign, and right below it, […]
A man goes into a really fancy restaurant wearing a shirt that is open at the collar. He is told by the concierge that open neck shirts are not allowed, and that he must wear a tie around his neck to gain admission. So, really wanting to dine there, as […]
Three engineers and three mathematicians are traveling to a conference by train. At the train station, the three mathematicians each buy a ticket, and then they watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket between them. Looking very puzzled, one of the mathematicians asks the engineers: “How are […]
Marjorie really enjoyed sunbathing at the luxury hotel where she was staying, as it had a roof terrace. She enjoyed it so much, in fact, that she spent most of the week up there. Not only could she sunbath in peace, because there was nobody else up there, but it […]
A man was riding on a roller coaster at a theme park and had an accident. The next thing he knows, he is in hospital. He is in a lot of pain, and he has bandages all over him. “What on earth happened to you?” asked the hospital visitor to […]
A man with no arms walked in to a bar and asked the bartender for a beer. The bartender stared at him, thinking that he looked rather unusual, but then decided this was rather rude, so he poured the man a beer and placed the foaming glass in front of […]
An inventor goes along to the Patent Office with some of the latest designs that he has been working on, with a view to getting patents issued for them. He said to the clerk, “I would like to register my new invention, it’s a folding bottle.” “A folding bottle” replied […]
Just in case you think you have had a bad day, consider how it could have been much, much worse …. CURL UP AND DIE I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, “How much do you charge for a shampoo […]