I was waiting tables at an exclusive country club, when an elegantly dressed woman spilled her bowl of Manhattan clam chowder all over her white linen skirt. She began dabbing at it furiously with her napkin. Having had plenty of experience with getting out food stains, I asked her, “May […]
Jokes in category: Food Jokes
29 posts
The little boys mother shouted at him, “Tommy! There were two cookies in the pantry this morning but now there’s only one! Do you have an explanation?” Tommy replied, “It must have been too dark and I didn’t see the other one”.
Susan was down with the flu earlier in the month and had sent her husband out shopping for groceries at her local natural foods store. Susan had given him a carefully prepared shopping list, which contained the items she required to maintain the strict diet the doctor had put her […]
I recently joined a well known weight loss organisation with some friends. Nobody likes to be fat, least of all me, and we had all agreed that over the holidays we had put on a few too many pounds, and doing something to try and lose weight was a good […]
While he was eating in an expensive restaurant, a patron overhead the gentleman at the next table ask the waitress to pack the leftovers from their meal for their dog. It was then that the gentleman’s young son exclaimed loudly, “Whoopee! We’re gonna get us a dog!”
A man walks up to a cashier in a New Mexico grocery store and asks rudely, “Hey, how much for these jalapeño peppers?” He pronounces it “joe-la-pen-oh” not “ha-la-peen-yo“. The cashier says, “Sir, that’s not what those peppers are called”. The man replies, “Listen, buddy, this is America, and I […]
Lemon Breast Chicken Recipe I saw this recipe for a lemon breast chicken that looked really good. I thought I would share it with others who I know like to cook. Ingredients: 1 whole chicken (weight is dependant on how many servings are required) 1 large lemon, cut into halves […]
As ham sandwiches go, this was perfection. A thick slice of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard. With the corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried the sandwich to the table in our back yard, picked it up […]
Two Irishmen went into a pub and after ordering two pints of Guinness, took some sandwiches out of their pockets and proceded to eat them. “You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here”, complained the barman. So, the two Irishmen passed their sandwiches across the table to each other. The […]
My girlfriend and I went to a local sandwich shop to pick up some sub sandwiches last week. She had trouble deciding which sandwich to order, so she asked the clerk which of two subs was better. Our server didn’t have an opinion, but did say that the first sandwich […]
