Jokes in category:  Drinking

41 posts

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Long_Voyage_HomeIf there ever was a topic where you can find jokes galore, it would have to be drink, drinking and people getting drunk.

I hope you enjoy this collection of drinking jokes, and don’t forget to look at our collection of Irish Jokes as well, because (surprise) a number of those involve drinking would you believe.

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Skin Tight Leather Pants

I was sitting at the bar and couldn’t help but notice this young woman who was wearing skin tight leather pants. When I say “skin tight“, they looked as if they were practically painted on her. Puzzled as to how she managed to get them on, I walked over to […]

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Full Moon

Two drunks are staggering home along the road, when one drunk says to the other, “What a beautiful night, look at the full moon”. The other drunk stops and looks at his drunk friend. “You’re wrong, that’s not the moon, that’s the sun”, the drunk says. They began to argue […]

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The Drunk

A drunk is sitting on the street curb in front of a bar. A stranger walks by and asks the drunk if he is okay. The drunk replies by asking him, “Do you know who I am?” The stranger says “No. Who are you?” The drunk proudly says, “I’m Jesus […]

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Staggering Home

Seamus ended up staggering home very late one evening, after yet another one of his all too frequent binges at the local pub with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He carefully took off his shoes in the hallway to avoid waking his wife, Mary. He tiptoed as quietly as he could […]

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Happy Hour

A guy was talking with his co-worker about where they should go for a beer after work. The friend suggested a place just to the north of their office, because they were running a “Happy Hour” deal: two for one beers from 5pm to midnight. Our hero agreed that two […]

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Two Shots

Roger walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, give me two shots. One for me and one for my best buddy here.” The bartender says, “You want both drinks now or do you want me to wait until your buddy arrives to pour his?” Roger says, “Oh, I want them […]

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Stopped By The Police

A man was stopped by the police around 2am after they saw him staggering down the road. The officer asked him where he was going at that time of night. The man replied, “I’m on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the […]