Jokes in category:  Drinking

38 posts

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Long_Voyage_HomeIf there ever was a topic where you can find jokes galore, it would have to be drink, drinking and people getting drunk.

I hope you enjoy this collection of drinking jokes, and don’t forget to look at our collection of Irish Jokes as well, because (surprise) a number of those involve drinking would you believe.

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The Drunk

A drunk is sitting on the street curb in front of a bar. A stranger walks by and asks the drunk if he is okay. The drunk replies by asking him, “Do you know who I am?” The stranger says “No. Who are you?” The drunk proudly says, “I’m Jesus […]

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Staggering Home

Seamus ended up staggering home very late one evening, after yet another one of his all too frequent binges at the local pub with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He carefully took off his shoes in the hallway to avoid waking his wife, Mary. He tiptoed as quietly as he could […]

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Happy Hour

A guy was talking with his co-worker about where they should go for a beer after work. The friend suggested a place just to the north of their office, because they were running a “Happy Hour” deal: two for one beers from 5pm to midnight. Our hero agreed that two […]

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Two Shots

Roger walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, give me two shots. One for me and one for my best buddy here.” The bartender says, “You want both drinks now or do you want me to wait until your buddy arrives to pour his?” Roger says, “Oh, I want them […]

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Stopped By The Police

A man was stopped by the police around 2am after they saw him staggering down the road. The officer asked him where he was going at that time of night. The man replied, “I’m on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Long_Voyage_Home

Drinking With The Boys

A man staggers home late one night having been out drinking with the boys. As he falls through the doorway of his house, his wife angrily snaps at him, “What’s the big idea coming home half drunk?” The man replies, “I’m sorry, honey. I ran out of money.” 60 SHARES […]

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Neighborhood Bar

Mack and Andy were having a beer at their neighborhood bar, a local tavern that over the years had become their regular watering hole. “What’s the matter?” Mack asked his buddy. “You look kind of down.” “My wife just told me that my lovemaking is just like a news bulletin”, […]

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4th July In Canada

An American tourist who was visiting Canada celebrated the 4th of July by getting stone drunk. He became obnoxious and disorderly, and was hauled into court for disturbing the peace. “How do you plead?” the Judge asked. “Not guilty!” replied the accused. “How can you plead not guilty? You are […]