I just discovered something and thought you could use some ice advice. You would think that putting ice into your drinks would be a good thing, however consider the following facts: When you drink vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure. When you drink rum over ice, it […]
The Best Collection Of Drinking Jokes
51 posts
If you love Drinking Jokes, you have come to the right place as we have a great collection of funny Drinking Jokes here for you.
If there ever was a topic where you can find jokes galore, it would have to be drink, drinking and people getting drunk.
I hope you enjoy this collection of drinking jokes, and don’t forget to look at our collection of Irish Jokes as well, because (surprise) a number of those involve drinking would you believe.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://www.rawpixel.com/image/415181/brown-ale-beer
Have you heard about the Five Stages of Drunkenness? We all know that as you drink you get drunk and the more drunk you get, the stranger your actions become. Anyhow, enjoy this definition of the five stages of drunkenness and maybe try to remember this the next time you […]
A drunk man was in the court room and brought before the judge. Just before the court case was about to start, there was a loud commotion from up in the gallery. The judge angrily pounded his gravel on his table and shouted, “Order, order!” The drunk immediately responded, “Thank […]
Two young guys were at a party in the woods with some friends, all drinking beer, when all of a sudden there was a tremendous storm with lots of thunder and rain. The two of them ran through the woods for about ten minutes in the pouring rain, finally reaching […]
A man walked into a bar, pulled up a stool, called the bartender over and ordered a shot of whisky. He gulped it down and then peeked into his shirt pocket. A few minutes later he ordered another shot of whisky, gulped it down and again peeked into his short […]
A man walked into a bar and said to the bartender, “Can I have a glass of your finest Less, please”. “Less? I’ve never heard of it”, the bartended replied. “Surely you have?” the man responded. “No, really, we don’t stock it”, the bartended replied. “What is it? Some kind […]
A minister was completing a Temperance sermon, telling the congregation at the church service in no uncertain terms all about the demon drink. With great emphasis, he called out to them, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river”. There […]
Murphy came home one night drunk as a skunk, only to find his angry wife standing at the front door waiting for him. When I say she was angry, she was livid. She was literally seething, furious and whatever other nasty mean ugly words to describe her mood that you […]
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven! Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.pexels.com/photo/summer-sunshine-alcohol-drink-1862/
A drunk goes into a bar, walks up to the bartender and calls out, “Drinks for everyone, and one for you too”. The bartender serves everyone in the bar, including himself. “That will be fifty dollars, please”, he says to the drunk. “I don’t have any money”, the drunk says. […]
A man walked into a bar and yelled out to the bartender, “Quick, give me a glass of beer, before it gets started!” The bartender looked at him as if he was crazy, “What started mate?! What are you talking about?!” “I don’t have time for questions, just give me […]
I was sitting at the bar and couldn’t help but notice this young woman who was wearing skin tight leather pants. When I say “skin tight“, they looked as if they were practically painted on her. Puzzled as to how she managed to get them on, I walked over to […]