When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven! Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.pexels.com/photo/summer-sunshine-alcohol-drink-1862/
Jokes in category: Drinking
42 posts
If there ever was a topic where you can find jokes galore, it would have to be drink, drinking and people getting drunk.
I hope you enjoy this collection of drinking jokes, and don’t forget to look at our collection of Irish Jokes as well, because (surprise) a number of those involve drinking would you believe.
A drunk goes into a bar, walks up to the bartender and calls out, “Drinks for everyone, and one for you too”. The bartender serves everyone in the bar, including himself. “That will be fifty dollars, please”, he says to the drunk. “I don’t have any money”, the drunk says. […]
A man walked into a bar and yelled out to the bartender, “Quick, give me a glass of beer, before it gets started!” The bartender looked at him as if he was crazy, “What started?! What are you talking about?!” “I don’t have time for questions, just give me the […]
I was sitting at the bar and couldn’t help but notice this young woman who was wearing skin tight leather pants. When I say “skin tight“, they looked as if they were practically painted on her. Puzzled as to how she managed to get them on, I walked over to […]
Two drunks are staggering home along the road, when one drunk says to the other, “What a beautiful night, look at the full moon”. The other drunk stops and looks at his drunk friend. “You’re wrong, that’s not the moon, that’s the sun”, the drunk says. They began to argue […]
Two merchants from a small town in the Midwest, were attending a conference in New York City, it was the first time for either of them that they had seen such things as skyscrapers, big hotels, wide streets full of traffic etc, they were in awe. In the evening, there […]
Do you remember having the first drink you had with your son? I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons. Suddenly, I had memories come flooding back of the time I took my son out for his first pint. Off we went to our local pub, which […]
A drunk is sitting on the street curb in front of a bar. A stranger walks by and asks the drunk if he is okay. The drunk replies by asking him, “Do you know who I am?” The stranger says “No. Who are you?” The drunk proudly says, “I’m Jesus […]
Seamus ended up staggering home very late one evening, after yet another one of his all too frequent alcohol binges at the local pub with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He carefully took off his shoes in the hallway to avoid waking his wife, Mary. He tiptoed as quietly as he […]
A guy was talking with his co-worker about where they should go for a beer after work. The friend suggested a place just to the north of their office, because they were running a “Happy Hour” deal: two for one beers from 5pm to midnight. Our hero agreed that two […]
