Two men are drinking in a bar, when one turns to the other and says, “I bet you $100 that I can bite my eye.” The second man thinks to himself, That’s impossible, I guess he’s had a skin full, so he replies, “Ok, that’s a bet”, and he lays […]
Jokes in category: Drinking
23 posts
If there ever was a topic where you can find jokes galore, it would have to be drink, drinking and people getting drunk.
I hope you enjoy this collection of drinking jokes, and don’t forget to look at our collection of Irish Jokes as well, because (surprise) a number of those involve drinking as well.
A drunk man was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night. He led his guests to his bedroom, where there was a big brass gong and a mallet. “What’s that big brass gong?” one of the guests asked. “It’s not a gong. […]
There was a coal mine in a small town that completely collapsed. A few days later, one of the engineers who miraculously survived the disaster went into the local watering hole for a beer. The bar was empty, except for one lonely soul at the other end of the bar. […]
A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says to the barman, ” Can I have a gin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . […]
A man is drinking at the bar in a local pub, and as you often do after a few beers, he has found a new drinking partner. “I was married three times” explained the man to his new acquaintance, “and I will never marry again”. His new friend appeared interested, […]
Scientists for Health Canada recently issued a beer warning, suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis, that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the […]
A really thirsty man goes into a bar. He sits down, and waits for the bartender to serve him. The man next to him calls for the bartender saying, “I’ll have another waterloo.” The bartender gives him a tall ice cold drink, then asks the newcomer what he would like […]
A drunk middle-aged man gets up from the bar, and staggers off to the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard from the bathroom. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar. The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why […]
A desk clerk at a hotel gets a phone call at 3am from a drunk man, asking what time the bar opens. “It opens at noon,” answers the clerk. About an hour later, the desk clerk gets a call from the same man, who is sounding even drunker. “What time […]
A man who is obviously as drunk as a skunk, walks into the front door of a bar. He staggers up to the bar, somehow manages to seat himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender politely informs the man that it […]