Liam was taking a stroll down by the harbour one day when he saw his friend Seamus walking by the sea wall with a nice looking dog. Liam went over to Seamus and asked, “does your dog bite?” Seamus replied, “no he never bites”. So Liam bent down to stroke […]
The Best Collection Of Animal Jokes
Have you ever wondered, do dogs go to Heaven? I know this is a question that a lot of people have pondered over the years and being “man’s best friend” and for many of us a part of the family, we would like to think that dogs go to Heaven […]
A mother was with her five year old son at the zoo, looking at the elephants in their enclosure. The five year old boy looked with amazement at the large beast and said to his mother, “Mom, what’s that long thing hanging down from the elephant?” His Mom replied, “That’s […]
On one of his pastoral visits, a minister noticed that there were eleven holes in a door and inquired what they were for. “We have eleven cats, the eleven holes are for them to go out through”, the man of the house explained to the minister. “But why do you […]
A cat died and went to Heaven, as cats do in all stories like this. God met the cat at the Pearly Gates and said, “You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking”. The cat thought for a minute and then […]
The zookeeper had a dilemna. He wanted to get some extra animals for the zoo, so he decided to compose a letter. The only problem was that he didn’t know the plural of “Mongoose”. He started the letter: “To whom it may concern, I need two Mongeese”. “No, that won’t […]
Did you hear about the three hens? The first hen was normal. The second hen was dyslexic. The third was a nymphomaniac. Every morning, when the hens woke up, they would call out. The first hen said, “cocka doodle doo”. The second hen said, “doodle doodle cock”. The third hen […]
A man was visiting the monkey enclosure at the zoo and he was stood there, staring at an empty cage. A zoo keeper walked past and the man stopped him and asked, “Excuse me, but where are all the monkeys?” “It’s mating season”, the keeper replied, “they are all inside”. […]
A Texas rancher was driving through Mexico and stopped at the edge of the road to admire the scenery. He had been on the road for a few hours, he was getting stiff and tired and some parts of Mexico are undeniably beautiful. While he was standing there admiring the […]
Have you heard the tale of the Irishman and the elephant? Well, the circus came to town and an Irishman went to the circus one afternoon as he had always loved the circus from when he was a child and hadn’t been to one in years. He enjoyed the performance […]
A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asked her husband to stop the car as there was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road. The wife got out of the car to see if the baby skunk was still […]
A man had a parrot and all it would do is sit in its cage all day saying, “Cracker want a polly. Cracker want a polly”. One of the man’s friends heard the bird saying this and remarked, “That bird is really stupid!” The owner said, “Actually he isn’t stupid […]