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Bottles Of Guinness

Guinness Bottles. Image used under a Collective Commons License from

Murphy and Paddy were driving south from Dublin to Cork and they were both laughing and telling jokes as they were driving and were also drinking bottles of Guinness Stout.

All of a sudden, Paddy saw lights flashing in his rear view mirror, it was the Garda, the Irish police signalling them to stop the car and pull over to the side of the road.

Murphy said “Paddy, what are we going to do?”

Paddy replied, “Don’t worry Murphy me old mate. Just do exactly what I tell you and everything will work out perfectly”.

Murphy agreed, so Paddy said, “First, we are going to peel the labels off our bottles of Guinness and we are going to stick one on each of our foreheads. Then just shove the bottles underneath your seat and let me do the talking”.

So Murphy and Paddy both quickly peeled the labels off their bottles of Guinness and then shoved the bottles under their seats.

Paddy slowed down and pulled the car over to the side of the road and stopped.

The police car pulled over behind then and stopped and the police officer got out and walked up to their car.

He looked at them kind of funny and asked to see Paddy’s driver’s license.

Then he asks Paddy, “Sir, have you been drinking?”

“Oh, no, sir”, Paddy replied.

“Well”, the police officer said, “I noticed you were weaving back and forth across the highway. Are you sure you haven’t been drinking?”

“Oh, no, sir”, Paddy said. “We haven’t had a thing to drink tonight at all sir”.

“Well, I do have to ask you”, the police officer said, “What on earth are those things on your forehead?”

“Oh that’s easy, officer”, Paddy replied. “You see, both Murphy here and me are alcoholics and we’re on the patch”.

Image used under a Collective Commons License from

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