Before you start reading this joke about a big winner in a Las Vegas Casino, just be warned that it’s a big naughty, which is why we placed it in the adult jokes category. But if you are ok with that and we hope you are, just carry on reading. This is a good one, we hope you enjoy it.
So, this guy goes out to Las Vegas and wins really big in one of the casinos.
After winning $150,000 at the craps table, the casino decides to give the guy a complementary night in the penthouse suite.
So the guy goes up to the room, opens the big double doors and steps into a massive three room suite that is almost as big as his home. The room is nothing but windows, with a fantastic view of the city.
The guy drops his bag of money in a chair and stands looking out the windows at the city, amazed at the view and his luck.
He realizes though that for all his luck, he is all alone and there is no-one to share his good fortune with.
He calls down to the front desk and tells the clerk to send up one of the best high priced call girls in the city to the penthouse.
Thirty minutes later, there is a knock on the door.
The guy opens it and there is the most gorgeous girl he has ever seen. Long blond hair, a short red dress and spiked heels.
She walks into the room.
The guy goes over to the bar and fixes two drinks, he gives one to the hooker and drinks one himself.
“Now, down to business”, he says, “how much for a hand job?”
The hooker says, “Honey, a hand job is $500”.
“What, $500! That’s outrageous!”
“Come over here”, she says, taking hold of his tie and walking him towards one of the windows.
“Do you see that strip mall over there”, she says, pointing out the window. “I own the last two stores on the end. I was able to buy those stores with the money I saved from giving hand jobs. I must be pretty damn good”.
“All right, screw it, money is no object”, the man says.
A half hour after she’s done the guy is sitting on the couch reveling in ecstasy.
He gets up, goes to the bar and makes two more drinks. He gives one to the hooker and drinks one himself.
“That was the best hand job I have ever had. How much for a blow job?”
The hooker says, “Honey, a blow job is $5,000”.
“What, $5,000! That’s outrageous!”
“Come over here”, she says, walking toward another one of the windows.
“See that hotel and casino over there on the corner?” the hooker says, pointing out the window. “I own that. I was able to buy it with the money I saved from giving blow jobs. I must be pretty damn good”.
“All right, screw it, money is no object”, the man says, going over to his bag and handing the hooker $5,000.
An hour after she’s done, the guy is laying on the couch, with his head rolled back, eyes rolled up inside his head, a little drool coming out of the corner of his mouth.
He gets up, barely able to stand, staggers over to the bar, mixes two more drinks, gives one to the hooker and drinks one himself.
“My god that was the best blow job I have ever had, I’ve gotta know, how much for some p*ssy?”
The hooker looks at him and says, “Honey, if I had a p*ssy, I’d own this whole town”.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pixabay.com/photos/las-vegas-las-vegas-sign-nevada-5078871/