Frank was really excited because he had purchased a new rifle and decided to try his luck at bear hunting.
So, he traveled up to Alaska, went out into the wilderness, where he spotted a small brown bear and shot it through the head.
Soon after, there was a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear who was looking at him menacingly.
The black bear said, “That was a very bad mistake. That small brown bear was my cousin. I’m going to give you two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have sex.”
After considering his options briefly, Frank decided that while he didn’t fancy the idea of having sex with a bear, he fancied being mauled to death even less, and so he decided to accept the latter alternative.
So, the black bear had his way with Frank.
Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Frank soon recovered from his injuries and vowed revenge.
He headed out on another trip to Alaska where he found the same black bear and shot it dead.
Right after, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him.
The grizzly bear said, “That was a big mistake, Frank. That was my cousin and you’ve got two choices: Either I maul you to death or we have rough sex.”
Again, Frank thought it was better to co-operate with the grizzly bear than be mauled to death, and this grizzly bear was a lot bigger and meaner than the black bear which he had just killed.
So, the grizzly bear had his way with Frank.
Although he survived, it took several months before Frank fully recovered.
By now Frank was completely outraged, so he headed back to Alaska and managed to track down the grizzly bear and shot it.
He felt sweet revenge, but then, moments later, there was a tap on is shoulder.
He turned around to find a GIANT polar bear standing there.
The polar bear looked at him and said, “Admit it Frank, you don’t come here for the hunting, do you?”
Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:%27A_Bear_Hunt_in_the_Rocky_Mountains%27_by_Paul_Frenzeny_and_Jules_Tavernier.jpg