So ladies, here’s a question for you. Are you a real woman or a Martha Stewart kind of woman?
I know this might sound like a strange kind of question, but there really are different kinds of women out there aren’t there.
If you are more like Martha Stewart, everything is perfect and in it’s place. You parade around with your hair done perfectly and wear a frilly apron in the kitchen. Your cooking is good enough to provide material for dozens of cookery books and the decor in your home is well, distinctively yours.
Or maybe you are more like a real woman and don’t give a crap about all that. Whatever works is good enough and doesn’t need fancying up in any way.
Or just maybe you are somewhere in between the two, or maybe something totally different.
I invite you to read on and see which camp you reside in. It would be interesting to know how many Martha Stewart’s and how many Real Women have read this, so please do leave us a comment and let us know which side you are on. The comment form is at the botton of the page.
So here we go…
MARTHA’S WAY #1
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a waffle cone to prevent ice cream drips.
REAL WOMEN’S WAY
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone why don’t you! You are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, so just hold the cone above your mouth and keep sucking!
MARTHA’S WAY #2
To keep potatoes from budding, place as apple in the bag with the potatoes.
REAL WOMEN’S WAY
Buy Hungry Jack instant mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to two years.
MARTHA’S WAY #3
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mixture instead of flour and there won’t be any white mess on the outside of the cake when baked.
REAL WOMEN’S WAY
Go the the bakery and buy a cake. They will even decorate it for you!
MARTHA’S WAY #4
If you accidently put too much salt in a dish, while it’s still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant “fix me up”.
REAL WOMEN’S WAY
If you over salt a dish while you’re cooking, that’s too damned bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women’s Motto: The way I make it is the way you like it!
MARTHA’S WAY #5
Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
REAL WOMEN’S WAY
Celery? what the heck is celery?
MARTHA’S WAY #6
Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yeild a beautiful glossy finish.
REAL WOMEN’S WAY
The Mrs Smith Pie “cooking from frozen” directions do not include brushing with egg whites over the crust so I don’t bother.
MARTHA’S WAY #7
To cure a headache, take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
REAL WOMEN’S WAY
Take a lime, mix it with Tequila, etc., Chill and drink. You might still have the headache when half way down the bottle but who gives a damn.
MARTHA’S WAY #8
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
REAL WOMEN’S WAY
Just ask “Useless” to do it, while he’s sitting on his ass watching TV.
And finally the most important tip of all…
MARTHA’S WAY #9
Don’t throw out all that left over wine from dinner. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in sauces.
REAL WOMEN’S WAY.
Left over wine ???
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