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A Wedding With A Difference

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Weddings can all too often be a bit of a muchness can’t they. Have you ever thought of having a wedding with a difference?

Your wedding day should be the happiest day of your life shouldn’t it. But in reality, how many of us know what we are letting ourselves in for when we get married?

How many of us really know what the rest of our life is going to bring after we legally begin to live together with the one we love.

Well, for everyone who hasn’t yet been married, or for those who have done it all before, some more than once, this is a wedding with a difference…

We are gathered here in the presence of God and men to join these people in holy matrimony.

We know they have been sleeping together in secret but now they can do it with the knowledge of everyone..

And as marriage is holy, at least in theory, I put it forth that if there is anyone in this gathering who has a valid reason why these two should not be joined, speak now or forever hold your peace.

Anyone ……. Is there anyone …..? C’mon, he must have slept with some of you? Someone…. ? Anyone …. ? I know someone here has slept with her too? Well, I guess they were all one night stands.

Moving on swiftly.

Mr Groom, do you take this woman as your lawfully wedded bride, to love to cherish and to hold, to listen to her whinning halfway through the night, always suck up to her father, to always lose an argument or else…, to listen to unending lies about her having a headache when you really need to release steam, put up with PMS… sometime faked… till death do you part?

(I do?…..)

Very well.

And do you Miss Bride, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love to cherish and to hold, to cook for, clean up after, give up watching soaps and anything interesting when there is football, find the toilet seat up everytime, clean pee of it, take care of kids alone, house his in-laws, cook tea for his friends during any important game for all the days of your life?

(I do? …. )

Well then, I pronounce you husband and wife.

What God has joined, let no man, neighbour, handsome workmate, barmaid, beer brand, ex’s, in-laws, milkman, shamba-boy, driver or sexy secretary put asunder.

You may kiss the bride…

Now THAT’S what i call honesty!

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