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A Successful Woman Executive Goes To Heaven

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://pixabay.com/en/goal-door-closed-input-gate-iron-1166116/

One day, while walking down the street, Susan, who was a highly successful woman executive, was tragically hit by a bus and killed. Her soul arrived up in Heaven, where she was met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself.

“Greetings Susan, welcome to Heaven,” said Saint Peter. “Before you get settled in, though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we’ve never once had a woman executive make it this far, and we’re not really sure what to do with you.”

“That’s not a problem, just let me in, said Susan.

“Well, I would like to”, replied Saint Peter, “but I have higher orders. What we are going to do is let you have a day in Hell, and a day in Heaven. After that, you can then choose whichever one of the two places that you would like to spend an eternity in.”

“Actually, I think I’ve made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven,” said Susan, in a bit of an aggressive manner, typical of some women who rather enjoy demonstrating their authority to men.

“I’m sorry Susan, but we have rules”, said Saint Peter, and with that, he put the woman executive in an elevator, and it went down down down.

The elevator kept on going down for what seemed an eternity in itself, until it finally slowed and came to a halt.

The doors opened, and Susan found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a Country Club, and standing in front of her were all of her friends, fellow executives with whom she had worked.

They were all dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times.

Then, they all played an excellent round of golf, and that night they all went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.

She met the Devil, who was actually a really nice guy (and kinda cute as well).

She had a great time telling jokes and dancing. In fact, she was having such a good time, that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved good-bye as she got on the elevator to head back to Heaven.

The elevator went up up up, up some more, and the doors opened showing her to be back at the Pearly Gates, where she found Saint Peter waiting for her.

“Now, it’s time to spend a day in Heaven”, Saint Peter said to her.

So, Susan spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds, and playing the harp and singing.

She had a great time, and before she knew it, her 24 hours were up.

Saint Peter came and got her. “So, you’ve spent a day in Hell and you’ve spent a day in Heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,” he said to her.

Susan paused for a second, and then replied, “Well, I never thought I would say this. I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell.”

So, in accordance with her wishes, Saint Peter escorted Susan to the elevator, and again she went down down down, back to Hell.

When the doors of the elevator opened, she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends, but this time they were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.

The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

“I don’t understand,” stammered Susan, in a state of shock. “Yesterday I was here, and there was a golf course, and a country club, and we ate lobster, and danced, and had a great time. Now all there is is a wasteland of garbage and all of my friends look miserable.”

The Devil looked at her and smiled. “Don’t you see, yesterday we were recruiting you; today you are staff!”


Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://pixabay.com/en/goal-door-closed-input-gate-iron-1166116/

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