A pirate walks into a bar, looking all beaten up and in a bad way.
The bartender says to him, “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!”
“What do you mean?” the pirate replies, “I’m fine.”
The bartender says, “But what about that wooden leg? You didn’t have that before”.
“Oh that”, says the pirate, “We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I’m fine, really”.
“Guess so”, says the bartender, “But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands.”
“Well,” says the pirate, “We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really”.
“Oh, ok” says the bartender, “But what about that eye patch? Last time you came in here you had both eyes”.
“Well”, says the pirate, “One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye”.
“So?” replied the bartender, “what happened? You couldn’t have lost an eye just from some bird shit!”
“It just happened”, says the pirate, “that I really wasn’t used to the hook yet”.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://pixabay.com/en/pirate-captain-seafaring-2626050/