The Laughline
Thousands Of The Best Funny Jokes To Make You Laugh

A Man’s View Of Female Drivers

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://www.rawpixel.com/image/400377/free-photo-image-woman-drive-delay-driving

If you want a man’s view of female drivers, here are some good observations that might just save someone’s life one day.

I was riding to work yesterday, when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder to avoid hitting her.

This evidently angered the driver enough, so he hung his arm out his window and flipped the woman off.

“Man, that guy is stupid” I thought to myself.

I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female driver does anything to me in traffic and here’s why:

I drive 48 miles each way, every day to work. That’s 96 miles each day.

Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper to bumper traffic.

Most of the bumper to bumper traffic is on an 8 lane highway, so if you just look at the 7 lanes I am not in, that means I pass something like a new car every 40 feet per lane.

That’s 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper to bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4,000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars I pass every day.

Statistically, half of these are driven by females, that’s 18,000.

In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS. That’s 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That’s 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That’s 98, and 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That’s 33.

According to the National Rifle Association 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing. That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Flip one off?

I think not.

–written by a very smart man


Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://www.rawpixel.com/image/400377/free-photo-image-woman-drive-delay-driving

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

The Laughline
WP Twitter Auto Publish Powered By : XYZScripts.com