The Laughline
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A Man Walks Into A Bar With An Ostrich

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A man walks into bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits down on a bar stool, a small cat jumps up on the stool beside him.

The bartender comes over, and asks what they would like to drink.

The man says, “I’ll have a beer please” and turns to the ostrich.

What’s yours?” he says to the ostrich.

“I’ll have a beer too” says the ostrich.

The cat says “I’ll have a half beer, but I’m not paying for it.”

The bartender pours their beers and says “That will be $3.40 please”.

The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exact change for payment.

The next day, the man, ostrich and cat come into the bar again.

The man says “I’ll have a beer please barman”.

The ostrich says “I’ll have the same please”.

The cat says “I’ll have a half glass of beer but I’m not paying for it.”

Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes a routine until, late one evening, the trio enter again.

“The usual?” asks the bartender.

“Well, it’s close to last call, so I’ll have a large scotch” says the man.

“Same for me” says the ostrich.

“I’ll have a small scotch but I’m not paying for it” says the cat.

“That will be $7.20” says the bartender.

Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on
the bar.

The bartender can’t hold back his curiosity any longer.

“Excuse me sir”, he says to the man. “How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?”

“Well,” says the man, “several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp.”

“When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes”, the man continued.

“My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my pocket, and the right amount of money will always be there.”

“That’s brilliant!” says the bartender. “Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!”

“That’s right”, says the man. “Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” he adds.

The bartender asks “One other thing, sir, what’s with the ostrich and the cat?”

The man replies “My second wish was for a chick with long legs and a tight pussy”.

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