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A Man Died And Went To Heaven

Clocks Steampunk Gothic Door. Image used under a Collective Commons License from

A man died and went to Heaven.

Yes I know, it’s another one of those jokes, but such is life. People keep thinking them up, the same way as they keep starting fairy tales with “Once upon a time”. You just have to deal with it I’m afraid.

So where were we? Oh yes… So this man died and went to Heaven, where he met good old St. Peter who was sitting at a rather elegant antique desk in the middle of a great hall, the size of which resembled something like a cathedral.

The new arrival was really impressed with St. Peter’s office and he noticed that the walls all around this great hall were adorned with millions of clocks, all busily ticking away.

“What are those used for?” he asked St. Peter, pointing to the clocks.

St. Peter replied, “There is a clock up there on the wall for every living person on Earth, they are all ticking out the days of their lives”.

The new arrival was astonished to hear this and kept looking at the clocks, which went from one end of each wall to the other and also from the floor to the ceiling. It was a most impressive sight.

He also noticed that the hands of some of the clocks were moving faster than others and this stirred his curiosity.

“Why do the clocks move at different speeds”, he asked St. Peter.

St. Peter replied, “Well, every time someone on Earth tells a lie, they lose one hour of their life and their clock speeds up”.

“I see”, the man said, “Now it makes sense”.

The new arrival looked around some more, still taking in the wondrous sight and then asked, “Do you have one of these for Donald Trump?”

St. Peter replied, “Of course we do, we have one for every person on Earth. I keep it in the back room and use it for a ceiling fan”.

Image used under a Collective Commons License from

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