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45th Birthday

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://www.flickr.com/photos/kimberlykv/5563591206My 45th birthday was a couple of weeks ago, and when I woke up I wasn’t feeling great, not to mention the fact that 45 is halfway between 40 and 50, and 50 is just bloody old.

So, I didn’t feel great, and oh boy was I feeling depressed as well, but hey it was my birthday, so I thought I had better make the best of it.

I went downstairs to breakfast, knowing that my wife would be pleasant and say “Happy Birthday” and probably have a present for me, and that ought to cheer me up a bit.

Well imagine my surprise when she didn’t even say “Good Morning”, let alone wish me a “Happy Birthday”.

I thought to myself, “well, that’s wives for you. The children will surely remember”.

So the children came down to breakfast, and neither of them said a word.

By the time I left the house to go to the office, as you can imagine I was feeling pretty low and seriously despondent.

“Is this what life comes to when you reach middle-age?” I thought to myself as I drive to work.

However, as I walked into my office, my secretary Bobby said, “Good Morning, Boss, Happy Birthday”.

Well that sure made me feel a little better, at least someone had remembered my birthday.

I worked until noon, which is when Bobby knocked on my door and said, “You know it’s such a beautiful day outside, and it’s your birthday. Why don’t we go to lunch, just you and me?”

I said, “Great Scott! That’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go”.

So Bobby and I went to lunch. We didn’t go where we normally go, we went out into the country to a little private place, where we had two martinis and a fantastic lunch which we both really enjoyed.

On the way back to the office, Bobby said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day. We don’t need to go back to the office. Do we?”

Feeling in a really good mood by now and not feeling like more work, I said, “No, I guess not”.

She really surprised me though when she suggested that we go to her apartment.

Who was I to refuse an offer like that, after all Bobby is pretty hot, and with it being my birthday, I felt that finally things were going my way.

After arriving at her apartment, we had another martini and smoked a cigarette.

Bobby turned and said to me, “Boss, if you don’t mind, I think I’ll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable”.

“Sure”, I replied, getting really excited now.

So, she went into the bedroom and in about five or six minutes, she came out, carrying a big birthday cake — followed by my wife and children. All of them were singing “Happy Birthday”.

And there on the couch I sat… with nothing on but my socks…

… and that’s why I fired my secretary…


Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://www.flickr.com/photos/kimberlykv/5563591206

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