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45th Birthday

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My 45th birthday was a couple of weeks ago and when I woke up I wasn’t feeling great, not to mention the fact that 45 is halfway between 40 and 50. Once you reach 50 you are just bloody well old, so needless to say, having reached the point where I was only 5 years away from being an old man, I wasn’t particularly happy.

So, I didn’t feel great when I woke up and oh boy was I feeling depressed as well. But hey it was my birthday, so I thought I had better make the best of it.

I went downstairs to breakfast, knowing that my wife would be pleasant to me and say “Happy Birthday” and probably have a present for me and that ought to cheer me up a bit.

Well imagine my surprise when she didn’t even say “Good Morning”, let alone wish me a “Happy Birthday”.

I thought to myself, “well, that’s wives for you. The children will surely remember”.

So the children came down to breakfast, and neither of them said a word.

By the time I left the house to go to the office, as you can imagine I was feeling pretty low and seriously despondent.

“Is this what life comes to when you reach middle-age?” I thought to myself as I drive to work.

However, as I walked into my office, my secretary Bobby said, “Good Morning, Boss, Happy Birthday”.

Well that sure made me feel a little better, at least someone had remembered my birthday.

I worked until noon, which is when Bobby knocked on my door and said, “You know it’s such a beautiful day outside and it’s your birthday. Why don’t we go to lunch, just you and me?”

I said, “Great Scott! That’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go”.

So Bobby and I went to lunch. We didn’t go where we normally go though. We drove out into the country to a little private place, where we had two martinis and a fantastic lunch which we both really enjoyed.

On the way back to the office, Bobby said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day. We don’t need to go back to the office. Do we?”

Feeling in a really good mood by now and not feeling like more work, I said, “No, I guess not”.

She really surprised me though when she suggested that we go to her apartment.

Who was I to refuse an offer like that, after all Bobby is pretty hot, with long shapely legs and a lovely rack. Actually, Bobby was just drop dead gorgeous.

With it being my birthday, I felt that finally things were going my way. Maybe this was going to be a birthday to remember after all.

After arriving at her apartment, we had another martini and smoked a cigarette.

Bobby turned and said to me, “Boss, if you don’t mind, I think I’ll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable”.

“Sure”, I replied, getting really excited now. Actually, I could hardly contain my excitement, eagerly anticipating what was to come next.

So, she went into the bedroom and in about five or six minutes, she came out, carrying a big birthday cake — followed by my wife and children. All of them were singing “Happy Birthday”.

And there on the couch I sat… with nothing on but my socks…

… and that’s why I fired my secretary…

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