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The Turkey

A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon Little Johnny carrying a wild turkey under his arm. He stopped and asked Little Johnny, “Where did you get that turkey?” Little Johnny replied, “What turkey?” The game warden said, “That turkey you’re carrying under your arm.” Little […]

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Alcohol Warning

Alcohol Warning: Due to increasing products liability, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA’s suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all alcoholic containers: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol: Leaves you wondering what the hell happened to your bra. May make you think you are whispering when […]

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Crabs

A man boarded an airplane in Sydney, with a box of crabs. A female cabin flight attendant took it and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator, which she did. The man advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for the crabs staying frozen, and proceeded to […]

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The Blonde Pilot

The story goes that a young blonde man volunteered for military service during World War II. Despite being blonde, he had such a high aptitude for aviation that he was sent right to Pensacola air force base, skipping boot camp. The very first day at Pensacola, he pilots a plane […]

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Good Days And Bad Days

Our marriage is a bit like riding a roller coaster, sometimes there are good days and other times bad days. Yesterday when I got home from work at the usual time, 6pm, I quickly found that it had not been one of my wife’s better days. On days like these, […]

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A Visit To The Rabbi

A Jewish man pays a visit to the Rabbi, “Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.” The Rabbi asked, “What’s wrong?” The man replied, “My wife is poisoning me.” The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, “How can that be? Surely you must […]

Image Copyright Tony Payne

A Few Days Off Work

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted “Crazy” he would tell me to take a few days off so, I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. […]

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I’m Rich!

I realized the other day that now I am old I’m rich! I’ve got: Silver in the hair Gold in the Teeth Crystals in the Kidneys Sugar in the BloodLead in the Rump Iron in the Arteries And an inexhaustible supply of Natural Gas. I never thought I would accumulate […]

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Life Explained

Have you ever sat and pondered over the meaning of life? What is life anyway? It seems like all we do is grow up, work hard, grow old, and what for? But there is a reason for all of this, and just to help you understand the meaning of life, […]

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Amazing Steak

A man had told all of his friends about the amazing steak that he had eaten at a downtown restaurant the day before. This steak was huge! It was cooked perfectly, it was the most tender and juicy steak that he had ever eaten. So, a group of them decided […]