Two whales were swimming around in the ocean (as whales do), when they come upon a ship that is hauling potatoes. The first whale swims underneath it, tips it over and eats everything, ship and all. A few days later, the two whales are still swimming around in the ocean […]
It was the first day of school after summer vacation, and the kids had all arrived in their high school English class, and were chatting away, busily making new friends. Then, in walked a very stern looking English teacher, and a hush fell over the room as the kids scurried […]
My wife and I were sitting outside our tent at the campsite one evening, when a fully loaded mini van pulled in to the vacant slot next to ours. As soon as the minivan came to a halt and the driver turned the engine off, four children leaped from the […]
One day, the teacher was giving the class a history lesson about the first president of the USA, George Washington, and how as a young boy he had chopped down his father’s cherry tree. After the lesson had ended, the teacher said to his class: ” George Washington not only […]
A customer at Abraham’s Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor’s quick wit and intelligence. “Tell me, Abraham, what makes you so smart?” “I wouldn’t share my secret with just anyone,” Abraham replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won’t hear, “But since you’re a good and faithful customer, I’ll […]
A man went to the police station, and asked to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. The thief had managed to prowl around most of the house, and had opened a number of cupboards and drawers before the police arrived and arrested him. […]
Some boy scouts who were from a scout troop in the city were out on a camping trip in the woods. On their first evening, mosquitoes were so fierce that the boys had to hide under their blankets to avoid being bitten. Then one of them saw some lightning bugs […]
A man stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity. He was looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed, and it was driving his partner absolutely nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, “What’s taking you so long? Just hit the blasted ball.” […]
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?” “Because white is the colour of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.” The child thought about this for a moment, then said, “So why is […]
A man was laying sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, “I’m sorry, sir, but you are only allowed one seat.” The man groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became impatient. “I’m sorry sir, if […]