A wife had been doing a lot of thinking one day, and asked her husband, “Honey, if I died, would you get married again?” Her husband replied, “well, after a considerable period of grieving, I guess I would. We all need companionship”. “So, if I died and you got married […]
The time had come to renew my driver’s license, so off I went to the local licensing center. When I got there, the licensing center was packed, and I had to stand in line. The line inched along for almost an hour, until the man ahead of me finally got […]
One day, a mother pig was casually walking through the farmyard with one of her piglets. Suddenly, without warning, a raccoon raced out from behind the barn, and scared the living daylights out of the mother pig. The little hog laughed to see such a plight, and the sow jumped […]
A married couple who were both 60 years old, were celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary. During their party, a fairy appeared to congratulate them on their many happy years together, and she granted them each one a wish. The wife thought for a few minutes, and then said to the […]
A father who was worried about his teenage son, telephoned his family doctor and said that he was afraid that his son had come down with an STD, a sexually transmitted disease. He told the doctor, “he says he hasn’t had sex with anyone but the maid, so it has […]
We usually think of love poems as being all mushy and gooey and romantic and such. Here are some short more true to life love poems. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss. But I only slept with you, because I was pissed. I thought that I could love […]
A young man is lying in bed in the hospital after his operation, with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young nurse appears, and explains to him that she is there to sponge his hands and feet. “Nurse”, he mumbles from behind the mask, are my testicles black?” Embarrassed, […]
I wonder how many of us men have had similar episodes to this happen during their married life… Of course these days it’s more likely to be a texted conversation, but back in the day… A man answers the phone and has the following conversation: “Yes, mother, I’ve had a […]
Chin-Chin the giant panda was placed on trial for entering a New York City restaurant, eating dinner, pulling out a machine gun, and shooting out the windows and doors. The judge looked at Chin-Chin’s lawyer and proclaimed, “Thirty eyewitnesses saw your client pay for dinner, shoot up the place, and […]
The artist was painting a young woman, and he was trying really hard to concentrate on his work, but the attraction he felt for his model kept distracting him. Finally, the urge became irresistible, and he threw down his palette, walked over to her, took her in his arms, and […]