Little Johnny’s class went on a school outing to the police station. While they were at the police station, a police officer showed the class around the control centre, the interview rooms, the cells and as they walked through the reception area there was a notice board on the wall […]
Do you know that their is a strong relationship between two eyes? It’s true, every word of it. Would I lie to you? Think about it. Your two eyes blink together, they move together, they cry together, they see things together and they sleep together, but they never see each […]
A man walked into a bar and said to the bartender, “A glass of your finest Less, please”. “Less? Never heard of it”, the bartended replied. “Surely you have?” the man responded. “No, really, we don’t stock it”, the bartended replied. “What is it? Some kind of foreign beer?” “I’m […]
Charlie applied for a job as a signalman for the railways and was told to meet the inspector at the signal box for a job interview. The inspector gave Charlie an aptitude test, to determine whether he would be suitable for the position, having told him how being a signalman […]
During a basic army training class, a sergeant was telling his group how a sub-machine gun sprayed bullets. He drew a circle on a blackboard and announced that it had 260 degrees. “But, sergeant, all circles have 360 degrees”, called out one of the rookies. “Don’t be stupid”, the sergeant […]
A friend of mine, who was driving home after a fishing trip in northern Michigan with his boat in tow, had engine trouble a few miles inland from Lake Huron and had to pull over on the side of the road. The battery on his mobile phone had died, so […]
The other day I bumped into a good friend of mine who is a genetic engineer and he was really excited to tell me about his job. His latest project was the splicing together of DNA from different species of birds. First, he told me that he had combined the […]
Desperately trying to find a way to control my dry hair, I treated my scalp with olive oil before washing it. Worried that the oil might leave an odor, I washed my hair several times. That night when I went to bed, I leaned over to my husband and asked, […]
Two assassins were hired to kill a dictator in South America. They followed his every move for month after month, finding out that every day at noon he went outside and did his stretching exercises. The two assassins decided this would be their best opportunity to fulfill their mission. So, […]
This is taken from a competition in a newspaper, in which it was proposed that English should have male and female nouns. Readers were asked to assign a gender to nouns of their choice and to explain their reasoning. These were the best submissions and very clever too in our […]