One day, my husband, who is totally naive when it comes to housework, decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted out to me, “What setting do I use on the washing machine?” “It depends”, I replied, “what does it say on your […]
One winter, Howard and Donald decided to build a skating rink in the middle of a pasture on their farm. A shepherd, who was leading his flock of sheep, decided to take a shortcut across the skating rink. The sheep, however, were afraid of the ice and didn’t want to […]
The farmer’s wife went to see the doctor to ask him about her husband’s chronic biliousness. The doctor advised her to give him liquid paraffin. The farmer’s wife went and purchased paraffin oil by mistake and gave some to her husband. The next day he was very ill, so she […]
A woman goes to the dentist for a checkup. He calls her into the room with all the machinery and gadgets, or the “torture chamber” as I like to call it, sits her down in the dentist chair and begins the checkup. After the dentist has through examined her, he […]
Murphy was getting more than a little peeved with the frequent visits they were getting from his wife’s two nephews, who were both Jesuit priests. She was in the habit of wining and dining them royally and on one occasion she forced Murphy to kill the two finest chickens in […]
One day, a hungry bear was sitting on the side of a river bank, watching a fish jumping out of the water trying to catch a fly. The bear thought to himself, “if that fly would just drop six inches, the fish would jump up to get the fly and […]
A state trooper arrived on the scene of a horrific accident where a blonde woman had just totalled her car a few minutes before. Miraculously, the blonde woman was able to pry herself out from the wreckage of her car without a scratch and was in the process of applying […]
Do you believe in marital bliss? If you are married or have been married, did you imagine that life would just be wonderful all the time? Did you think that there would be no arguments, you would both live happily ever after, just living the perfect life? If you did […]
The summer heat had caused the area to experience an infestation of rattlesnakes. An infantry platoon was training in the area, learning about methods to counter offensive tactics. Officers and NCOs were given one magazine of live ammunition each to counter this danger, as several men had already suffered from […]
A colleague of mine was once invited to give a speech at a convention in Japan. Aware he had a good reputation as a public speaker, he was most surprised when his audience did not react at all to any of his perfectly timed jokes and witticisms. In fact, the […]
