“It’s no good sir”, Murphy said to his English teacher. “I am trying to learn, but everything you say goes in both ears and out the other”. “Goes in both ears and out the other?” the puzzled teacher asked. “But you only have two ears”. “You see, sir”, Murphy replied, […]
You might not know this, unless you are familiar with Latin based languages, like French, Spanish or Italian, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples: FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through […]
A barber ran out of his barber shop and down to the nearest street corner where a policeman was standing. “Excues me officer”, he asked, “have you seen a man running by here in the last few minutes?” “No I haven’t”, the policeman replied, “what’s the problem?” “The lousy cheat […]
His birthday was only a few weeks away, so little Johnny asked his father if he could have a mountain bike for a birthday present. His father said, “Son, Mom and I would buy you a mountain bike, but the mortgage on this house is $350,000 and your mother just […]
Three sailors had been shipwrecked and had been stranded on a deserted island for over two years. They had been lucky to survive and had made the best of the natural resources they had found on the island, but now it was becoming obvious that there was no possible hope […]
An extraordinarily handsome man who was also rather conceited, decided he had the “God given” responsibility to marry the perfect woman, so they could produce children that were beyond comparison. Having made this his mission in life, he began searching for the perfect woman. After a long but fruitless search […]
A woman storms into her boss’s office and she tells him in no uncertain words, “I heard that all the other women in the office are suing you for sexual harassment, everyone except for me!” Her boss is still staring at her in shock and surprise when she continues her […]
I’m sure you have at least once in your life had one of those occasions where you really have to go and you know that there is no way you are going to make it home without going. You know what I mean, we have all been there. A lot […]
During the Sunday Service in the church and right in the middle of his sermon, the visiting Minister suddenly stopped talking and called one of the ushers over to the pulpit. He pointed across to a man in the 4th row who had quite obviously nodded off, much to the […]
Little Johnny and little Timmy were in the playground having an argument about their families and who had the best. “My father is better than your father”, said little Timmy. “No he’s not”, little Johnny replied. “Well, my brother is better than your brother”, little Timmy called back. “No he’s […]
