“Margaret”, her friend Helen asked thoughtfully one day, “what would you do if you caught your husband cheating with another woman?” “Another woman with MY husband?”, Margaret replied, “I’ve never thought about it, let me think…” So Margaret thought it over, and said to her friend, “Let’s see. First, I […]
As the passenger cruise ship sailed past a small island in the middle of the ocean, everyone could see a bearded man who was shouting and desperately waving his hands. “Who is it?”, a passenger asked the captain. The cruise ship captain replied, “I have no idea, but every year […]
Paddy was walking through the customs area at the airport, carrying a large bottle. “What have you there?” said a suspicious customs officer. “T’is Lourdes holy water. I am bringing it home with me”, said Paddy. The officer took the bottle, opened it and tried some. “Why it’s Irish whiskey”, […]
A pastor was addressing his congregation about marriage and staying together. He asked his flock: “How many couples here have been married for one year?” A bunch of people in the congregation raised their hands. The pastor then asked, “How many couples have been married five years?” Still quite a […]
Donald was having a really bad day on the golf course. It seemed lately that he was having more and more of those days, often coinciding with when he was off playing golf rather than doing what he should have been doing, working… On this particular day, right around the […]
A blonde woman went into a pizza restaurant, looked at the menu and ordered a medium pizza. The assistant asked her how many pieces she wouldd like to have it cut into, six or twelve. “Oh, goodness, six please”, said the blonde woman, “I don’t think I could ever eat […]
One evening, not long after their honeymoon, John was out in the garage, welding some stuff for fun. Denise, his new wife, was standing there by the bench watching him with curiosity. After a long period of silence she finally said, “Honey, I’ve just been thinking. Now that we are […]
One evening a couple were at home watching television and the man was eating peanuts. He would toss them in the air, one at a time, then catch them in his mouth. Having just thrown one peanut, his wife asked him a question, and as he turned his head to […]
A man has been in hospital for 30 years when suddenly he wakes up from his coma. After waking up, he gets assessed by a team of specialists, who agree that his medical condition is stable, and he will be able to go home. A few days later, the man […]
One of the most frustrating computer support tasks I had was when a neighbour called me over to help fix the Wifi connection on their home computer, after they got it back from being repaired. The husband knew that I worked in IT, which of course to someone who knows […]
