A very drunken man got on a London bus late one night. He staggered up the aisle and sat down next to an elderly woman. She looked the man up and down and said to him, “I’ve got news for you. You’re going straight to Hell!” The man immediately jumped […]
Police Officer Dibble was patrolling around the town in his patrol car one night, on the lookout for trouble. While he was patrolling, he saw two little old ladies, sitting in the front seat of a Chevrolet convertible that was parked in “Honest John’s” used car lot. He could see […]
There’s nothing nicer than driving through the countryside, that is until you hit something. here’s a story about a man and his car and a dead cat. A man had been driving for what seemed hours down a long winding country lane with nothing but fields either side, when he […]
“You looked troubled”, I said to my friend when we were talking the other day. “What’s the problem?” I asked him. He answered, “I’m going to be a father”. “But that’s wonderful news,” I said. “How come you look so troubled?” He replied, “There’s wonderful about it? My wife doesn’t […]
A young man knocked on the front door of his parents house, clearly in a state of distress. “Dad”, he said, “I need to ask your advice”. “Ok son”, his Dad said, ushering his son to take a seat on the couch. “Well”, his son began, “I had to go […]
A woman was in the divorce court and called up in front of the judge. Having asked her the usual questions, name, address etc, he then asked her why she was there. “Your honour, I want to divorce my husband”, she said to the judge. “And why do you want […]
Little Jenny was playing in the garden when she spotted two spiders mating. “Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?” she asked. “They’re mating, Jenny” he replied. “What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?” Jenny asked him. “Oh, that’s a Daddy Longlegs dear”, her Daddy replied. Jenny asked […]
A Bible study group was discussing one of those awkward topics, the unforeseen possibility of sudden death. “We will all die some day” said the leader of the discussion group. Several of the other members nodded their heads, signalling that they too understood the truth that life can’t go on […]
Two old Irishmen were in their local pub one night and had both downed quite a few pints of Guinness. It was pretty obvious to look at the pair of them that they were both the worse for wear, sloshed, inebreiated (try saying that when you are drunk, let alone […]
I arrived home from work one evening to hear about the birth of my newest nephew. Of course, one has to make the “ceremonial pilgrimage” to the hospital to “view” the baby (as if the mother needs to be entertaining relatives in between nursing, baths and post-partum exercises!). So, we […]
