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Signalman

Charlie applied for a job as a signalman for the railways and was told to meet the inspector at the signal box for a job interview. The inspector gave Charlie an aptitude test, to determine whether he would be suitable for the position, having told him how being a signalman […]

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Basic Army Training

During a basic army training class, a sergeant was telling his group how a sub-machine gun sprayed bullets. He drew a circle on a blackboard and announced that it had 260 degrees. “But, sergeant, all circles have 360 degrees”, called out one of the rookies. “Don’t be stupid”, the sergeant […]

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Driving Home After A Fishing Trip

A friend of mine, who was driving home after a fishing trip in northern Michigan with his boat in tow, had engine trouble a few miles inland from Lake Huron and had to pull over on the side of the road. The battery on his mobile phone had died, so […]

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Genetic Engineer

The other day I bumped into a good friend of mine who is a genetic engineer and he was really excited to tell me about his job. His latest project was the splicing together of DNA from different species of birds. First, he told me that he had combined the […]

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Olive Oil

Desperately trying to find a way to control my dry hair, I treated my scalp with olive oil before washing it. Worried that the oil might leave an odor, I washed my hair several times. That night when I went to bed, I leaned over to my husband and asked, […]

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Two Assassins

Two assassins were hired to kill a dictator in South America. They followed his every move for month after month, finding out that every day at noon he went outside and did his stretching exercises. The two assassins decided this would be their best opportunity to fulfill their mission. So, […]

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Male And Female Nouns

This is taken from a competition in a newspaper, in which it was proposed that English should have male and female nouns. Readers were asked to assign a gender to nouns of their choice and to explain their reasoning. These were the best submissions and very clever too in our […]

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I Want To Become A Lawyer

An old man was critically ill and feeling that his death was near, he called his lawyer. “I want to become a lawyer”, the old man asked. “How much does it cost for that express degree you told me about?” “It costs $50,000”, the lawyer told him, then asked, “But […]

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Snoring At The Opera

A man fell asleep in his seat and started snoring at the opera. Now if you think like I do, there is nothing worse than people making noise during a movie or worse a live performance. It’s rude and inconsiderate to the rest of the audience, I am sure you […]

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Something Practical For Her 10th Birthday

Jenny’s mother decided that her daughter should get something practical for her 10th birthday, rather than just more toys. “How would you like it if we opened a savings account for you?” her mother suggested. Jenny was delighted, so when her brthday came around, she went with her mother to […]